The Great Toilet Roll Frenzy of 2020

I went shopping as normal this morning and, on my normal route to Starbucks then Waitrose, all was normal enough. Then, as I entered Waitrose I ran into my South African friends. They were astonished at the crazy mobs of panic buyers in Lidl.

Apparently they have a regular group who meet and chat each Saturday morning – similar to the Starbucks Crew. This morning the regulars stood around discussing all the strangers. It was like a 90% off sale with a mob clearing off the shelves like ravenous locusts.

Waitrose was just the usual Saturday morning with little evidence of any panic. The toilet rolls shelves were almost empty and there were big gaps in the painkiller slots but otherwise, all was perfectly normal.

Far from normal was the chap who, on leaving Starbucks, smiled at Sue and seemed to say “See ya, bitch.” It was very odd. Both of us thought he said it. I asked if he was a regular. Sue said yes but he’s always called her Sue.

Naturally we then called each other ‘Bitch’ at every opportunity.

At home I knocked up a no pasta lasagne for dinner, half of which will serve for lunch tomorrow.

Mirinda had guitar class this morning followed by her usual brunch at the Holly Bush. She was concerned that her class would be cancelled. It would appear that the music school might close but today it was fine.

David, her teacher, suggested they have a class via Skype if the school does close.

Mirinda was also worried the Holly Bush would be closed.

Another customer entered, wiping her brow and exclaimed “Thank God, you’re open!” when Mirinda was there. Asking the owner about the Corona-Effect on the pub, she said they’d actually been really busy.

So, apart from Lidl, our world seems largely unaffected by the current plague. Though I’d really love to know what the panic buyers are doing with all the toilet rolls. According to one chap operating the check-out in Waitrose, some people have enough loo rolls to last them at least a year. Really.

Apart from anything else, how can they have so much storage? I guess I could fill the Old Rose room up with them but otherwise, I’d have nowhere to put them. And I use the Old Rose room for laundry sortage so it would be a bit inconvenient to have it packed with toilet paper for any length of time.

The Great Toilet Roll Frenzy of 2020 will, I’m sure, be a highlight of the pandemic. Perhaps one day, we’ll have an answer as to why. And who started it. There could be a film.

I made Mirinda a glass of Very Pink Parfait for dessert to follow the lasagne. It went down very well. The spoon was one of a pair we bought in France one year for emergency roadside eating (or something) and I think it goes rather well.

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