Violence all around

On Sunday night, I meant to post the path after I’d shovelled the snow off it. Well, it’s never too late and it’s not like me to waste a perfect opportunity to show off our path…so here it is:

The wonderful path

But, back to today…On the way to the shops this morning, I stared with disbelief at the violence I witnessed on the path. It wasn’t just the two fighters that caused me so much concern but the fact that they were being watched by four others. And they were egging them on with shrieks and cries. Fortunately the fight was broken up before it could get too bloody.

The fighters were actually two magpies having a real go at each other, watched by four other magpies who, I can only assume, had bets on the outcome. They were all squawking in that magpie way we know the world over. Then, suddenly, like a black-caped crusader, a big crow swooped down on them, scattering the magpies to a couple of neighbouring trees. That broke up the fight and led me to believe that the crows are actually the bird police of the park.

And tonight was another Nicktor Night. Last week, I received a surprise parcel from Mum & Dad. It contained several items. One of which was the Ricky Gervais movie, Ghost Town. Mum had seen it and decided that we’d both like it very much. It was not our usual fare, seeing as it is a RomCom and has no violence or bad language in it but, not wanting to disappoint Mum & Dad, we decided to watch it first.

What a funny movie! And it even made Nicktor go a bit teary during the nice bits. At the movies conclusion, Nicktor proclaimed it one of his 20 favourite movies. I guess you can’t get much better than that.

Ricky Gervais plays a dentist who, because of a surgical mishap, can see dead people who, as the tagline says “…really annoy him.” Actually, all people annoy him, dead or alive. He pretty much plays the same character he generally plays but it works really well in this movie. He had us both in stitches. Greg Kinnear as one of the ghosts was also excellent.

If you like a good laugh (and who the hell doesn’t?) this movie will appeal. And the RomCom label shouldn’t put you off. The ending is particularly good.

And then, to completely change direction, we watched one of the worst films we’ve seen together. Nicktor has been bringing it around for yonks, always keen to see it but other films have taken precedence. If only we’d known how truly bad it is, he could have saved himself a lot of wasted effort.

It’s a revenge thriller called Death Sentence, starring Kevin Bacon, Kelly Preston and featuring John Goodman. Sounds promising. Bacon is a father who loses a son when a bunch of gang bangers shoots him in order to…well, for no reason really. The younger brother of an ugly thug wanted to prove he was a man and the only way he could do it was to kill someone. Mind you, one of the gang shot the guy in the gas station first before the son was shot. Couldn’t the shopkeeper have been the target instead?

Of course, Kevin Bacon then kills the younger brother in revenge after the legal system fails him miserably. Straight after the trial! Yeah, right, the police will NEVER suspect him.

There follows a lot of increasingly stupid killings, including Bacon’s wife (Preston) and (almost) his younger son – his fingers appear to have survived after their owner has been shot at point blank range while lying still, on a carpet. Ironically, the actors that were killed in this movie were extremely lucky, given how bad it is. I’m sure I detected a glimmer of relief flicker over John Goodman’s face as his life was snuffed out.

Discussing it afterwards, as we always do, we decided the script was awful, the plot not very tight and the film never quite decided what it wanted to be. One major fault, we decided, was that the audience was far too emotionally involved with Bacon’s family, which tends to make the killing unpleasant. A good revenge film should give only minimal time with the victims, after all, it’s the act not the emotional tugs that make the film.

Possibly the worst thing in the movie was how Bacon’s character, who worked for an insurance firm, just went out and bought a whole load of weaponry and learned how to use them all by reading the manuals that came with them while badly shaving his head. When he goes into full killing mode, his skill with the weapons is amazing. He must have been reading Shooting Baddies for Dummies.

I was rather amazed that someone could drive a souped up car through a steel gate and into a parked van and remain unscathed even without a seatbelt on. The gates were ripped off and the van was ripped in two – literally – by the impact. Instead of a nice violent moment, this just started us laughing. This was pretty much the end for us. Any skerrick of artistic merit vanished down the toilet bowl with the ugly thug’s final line. He sits on a bench next to Bacon, both of them suffering from multiple gun shot wounds. He turns to Bacon (not a bit of pain on his face) and says “Do you see how much like me you’ve become?”

Clearly this was meant to symbolise how the two men were very similar in their insatiable need for revenge but it was rubbish. But then, compounding the ridiculousness of the film, Bacon, having been shot a number of times, manages to drive the ugly thug’s car back to his house so he can watch the DVD of his family showing us, presumably, that he could still see them even though they were (mostly) dead – a bit like Ricky Gervais but without the comedy. Bacon manages this without running into any police cars even though there’s been a pretty full on gunfight and his house is a crime scene.

Anyway, this film was a complete load of rubbish and one hazards the guess that it was all about the paycheck.

The evening ended on a much more pleasant note as we started series 3 of Sorry. We both felt it is starting to get a bit dark but it’s still a good giggle to end the night on.

Oh, and the other items in the parcel were Tim Tams. They didn’t quite make it to Nicktor Night I’m afraid. I’m pretty good at resisting nice things but Tim Tams are an entirely different kettle of chocolate biscuit delight. Like ancient Greek sirens, they call and sing to me, fingers beckoning…it is impossible not to be dashed on the rocks of their sweet, delectable insides. Mmmmm, Tim Tams….