The Sunday shit wagon

One morning, not too long ago, as I walked into town, I passed neighbour Dave and Ian returning from their walk. Dave had Corky on a lead. This was unusual, so I asked about it. Dave explained that Corky couldn’t be trusted in traffic. If danger was present, rather than running away, she’d race towards it. I asked him what traffic, given they were walking in a park.

The shit wagon,” he said, pointing back the way they’d come.

This is a council vehicle which drives along the all weather path (mostly but not exclusively) and empties the bins which are mostly used for the deposit of dog poo. You quickly learn to hold your breath when it drives by.

I used to see it every few weeks but always during the week. This morning, on my way into town to buy a chicken, it was out and about, collecting. A bit odd, on a Sunday, I thought.

Then I ran into the Lady from St Mawes.

I started seeing her quite regularly during Lockdown. She was the one who took up long distance walking in order to escape her husband who was suddenly at home all the time. I didn’t know her name so, after she told me she was born and brought up in St Mawes, she became the Lady from St Mawes.

Well, not any more. I now know her name is Lynn. We were chatting about this, that and everything else when she asked if I was heading for Waitrose. Yes, I said, after my usual visit to Starbucks. I explained it was like my second family.

She then said I might now her friend, Andrew. Know him, I said, I shouldn’t think there’d be many people in Farnham who didn’t know him. She’d known him for about 35 years. They used to work out at the gym together.

We parted ways at the corner of Park Row and Castle Street, and, as she started to head up towards the castle, she told me to tell him that Lynn said hi.

And so, now she will henceforth be referred to as Lynn from St Mawes.

A little later, I sent Andrew a message and included Lynn’s ‘hi’. He asked which Lynn and should he be worried. When I explained she had a small child with her and looked harassed, he thought I was being serious.

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