I generally have to deal with the less pleasant aspects of dog owning in our family. It has often made me wonder whether it would be the same had we had children. I suspect it’s highly likely.
Yesterday, for instance, Freya had one of her difficult evacuations. This happens sometimes. Her tiny butt can’t cope with the amount or consistency being delivered, and it just accumulates on her fur. It’s never nice.
In time honoured tradition, Mirinda yelled out “Freya has a pooey butt!” and I sprang into action.
Freya’s not keen on a shower hose being concentrated at her rear end but, as I tell her, it’s bloody essential. It’s particularly difficult to prevent her from sitting down before I’ve finished. I’m afraid her tail comes in handy for this.
Afterwards, she always looks a bit bemused.
Today things reached an all-time low.
I was at the dining table, working away at finding some dead soldier or other, when Mirinda returned from one of her walk and talk wanders around the neighbourhood. I headed for the vestibule for the customary wipe down and ice removal from paws when she stopped me with the news that “Emma pooed on Freya’s ear!“
Apparently, Emma had gone into her usual routine and Freya decided it was a good time to sniff around the wrong end. As things were moving outwards, Freya turned her head and copped an earful.
It was seriously disgusting. Not that Freya was bothered. Or Emma, to be fair. It was just the humans. Though Freya wasn’t particularly keen on having her ear hosed down.
It did make me wonder what would happen in the wild. Given that dogs mark poo at every opportunity, would they then pee on Freya’s ear whenever they passed her? Other dogs would then mark her because she smelled of other dogs marking. It could be the beginning of a vicious circle. And all because she stood too close to the wrong end.
Emma, meanwhile, was not only unconcerned, but only required a towel down.
Emma is quite pleased with herself. She thinks Freya deserves it. For existing.