ASBO chickens

There were flash floods in Dorset today and our garden was drenched. A lot of rain fell in the south east of England. It has been so cold that Mirinda had the central heating on as she beavered away on work stuff. I just sweltered.

Actually, when I went shopping first thing, I was dampened pretty thoroughly. At the checkout, when asked if I wanted a bag, I had to say yes, explaining it was to go on top of my shopping after I’d packed my own shopping bag. Great way to cut down on plastic use, saving the planet in the process. Or not.

At home we both listened to Radio 4, although in different rooms and on different radios. One piece I only heard the end of concerned the daughter of Thomas Carlyle, writer and satirist. The woman who now looks after his house for the National Trust told the following story.

Apparently, when he lived in Chelsea (from 1834), Thomas Carlyle lived next door to a family who had chickens. While the Carlyle house was pretty quiet in the 19th century as opposed to now, next door’s chickens caused him a lot of grief. When he sat down to write, his peace and tranquillity would be invaded by the anti-social squawking, pecking and crowing of the birds.

This unsatisfactory situation would mean Mrs Carlyle (Jane) would have to march around to the neighbours and tell them, in no uncertain terms, to please make their chickens be quiet because her husband (important man that he was) couldn’t concentrate on his writing. (Actually, she was pretty important as well, becoming one of the most important ‘people of letters’ of the 19th century.)

Now, I have no problem with people complaining about noise, particularly if it’s disturbing someone’s work but I really want to know how you shut a chicken up. A dog, a baby, aggressive parents screeching at their kids, even a parrot but chickens? It’s not like you can reason with them or lock them in the dark. The only way I know is to cut their heads off and even then, it doesn’t work immediately and makes a bit of a mess. It also means the end of egg production.

Moving on a few years…a maid ‘accidentally’ burned the original first volume of Carlyle’s History of the French Revolution, which he re-wrote completely after finishing volumes two and three. I think it’s just possible that the maid had something to do with the neighbours and their chickens. Revenge is best served cold.

Says everything about our garden today

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But the rain faded into a barely perceived background after Fiona texted to say that Claire had her first drink of water, her first swallow of anything, since October 26 last year. Great cheers went up and Mirinda immediately called her dad. There were no leaks so it looks like she is well on the road to recovery. We are all very happy.