The ups and the downs

I’ve been feeling quite depressed about my legs and their stupid neurological problem that seems to be baffling medical science. The facts that I am stumbling all over the place, holding up normal people, slowing Mirinda down and in constant fear of collapsing, all contribute to making me feel that this will be my life from now on.

This changed today.

It was while I was in the park walking the dogs. The ground was a bit spongy because of the rain over the last few weeks and I was wearing wellies. The dogs were both having a ball – literally, in Emma’s case.

It was a lovely day and we were joined by lots of other dogs including Milly who was with Sally. Sally was collecting tree fragments from the Mushroom Devastated Tree I reported on a few weeks ago.

The Park Volunteers have cut the offending tree down, leaving great piles of wood chips (for dispersal over the Avenue which is mud ridden at the moment) and a big stump.

The stump is in the top right hand third of the picture

(Speaking of Sally and her stick collection activities…according to Bruce (in the Big House) she used to collect the loose timber for her fire but with the general deterioration of her mental capacity, she just stacks them in her back garden. She was seriously loaded up today. In fact I saw her make three trips heavily laden. Poor thing.)

Anyway, we were continuing along the Avenue (or rather the grass alongside the Avenue which isn’t quite as muddy) when I suddenly felt like I was walking normally. It was a weird feeling so I decided to test it a bit by walking faster, something that I’ve not been able to do for a while. And I succeeded in striding out with pace.

I was very pleased with this sudden and unexpected turn of events. It then occurred to me to try running.

To be honest, I’ve never been a big runner. Unlike Roger Bannister, I’m more a four hour mile kinda runner. Still, I have been known (a long time in the past) to put on an unlikely burst of speed when really, really a matter of life or death. However, since the collapse of my leg nerves, even this has been denied to me.

And I ran. Not far and by no means fast but it was actually a run. If I was Power Walking it would be enough for a disqualification. Not that I was going as fast as a Power Walker. Still. I felt almost jubilant.

Then, the ultimate test.

One of the things that amazed the specialist (and the doctor and just about everyone I’ve seen about this stupid problem) was my inability to jump. I’d get into position, bend my knees and try to launch myself against gravity but the result was always a big fat nothing. It was as if my feet were nailed to the floor. It was very frustrating.

So there I am in the park, the dogs doing their thing and I tried to jump. And I succeeded! It was only about four inches off the ground but it was a jump. And it was at this stage that the depression lifted completely and life became a delight once more. I really am easily pleased. Fortunately there was no-one around to witness my joy.

Walking back to the house I realised why my legs were now, miraculously working properly. Not believing in supernatural mumbo jumbo I deduced that it was obviously the gym.

Both of the physios said that the gym was an excellent idea and that too much cycling was not a thing. The first physio I saw, the miracle worker who cured my knee, told me about the terrible wastage in my lower leg muscles. She had given me exercises to strengthen and redevelop them but she said the gym was the way to go.

And I am living proof that she was 100% right. I am so happy about this sudden turnaround because I was almost convinced I’d be living the rest of my life walking ever slower with a growing fragility. I was wrong. I have the gym.

I love the gym.