Today, while Denise and Tracey were heading to Abu Dhabi having not been upgraded to business class, I tried to teach Freya to go through the puppy door. I wasn’t very successful. Even using doggie treats in her favourite flavour didn’t help. On the other hand, Denise and Tracey were fortunate in getting an empty seat between them.
And if being frustrated by a ruggedy cockerpoo wasn’t enough, I had to contend with the worst check out woman in Waitrose.
I always try and avoid her by hiding somewhere until she’s so busy I can use another one. Today I found myself outwitted by her being on the basket check out.
She insists on being outraged and is always negative to the extent that I feel like cutting my own head off after talking to her. This was today’s exchange:
Her: How did your dinner go?
Me: Good. Yes, I had to cook for nine. Never done that before. So it was quite an evening. Plus it was family. And my family is noisy.
Her: Well, you are all Australian.
And this was my mistake.
Me: Actually, no. Apart from my little sister and my wife, we’re all English. We were £10 Poms.
Her: I hate that expression.
Me: £10 Poms?
Her: You know where it comes from?
Me: English people immigrating to Australia for £10?
Her: When we go out in the sun our skin gets blotchy like a pomegranate.
Me: [after a suitable pause] Well, in all seriousness, there’s worse things to be called.
Her: [dismissively] I won’t argue with you Gary.
Not the best start to the day but, boy, did it end a whole lot better. For tonight we went to Sadlers Wells to see the China National Peking Opera Company production of Warrior Women of Yang.
Listening to the Archers on my way to London
What an insane hoot it was. Absolutely mental. Mind you, the sound of amplified chipmunks takes a bit of getting used to. In fact the woman in front of us spent most of the first half with her fingers in her ears. Still…
Sadlers Wells
The costumes were just extraordinary and the energy non-stop…a bit like the band.
It is customary in Chinese opera for the audience to show their appreciation at odd moments by yelling out HAO! and clapping with wild abandon. We took part in this show of approval with great gusto.
Curtain call
But, of course, we can’t be allowed to have too good a night out. South West Trains decided to ruin the last bit by cancelling our train, without a reason, and making us wait almost an hour for the next one.
BASTARDS!
