Being a football fan

Tonight was the perfect Nicktor Night. I was saying to Mirinda on the weekend that to be perfect, a Nicktor Night should include dinner at a pub over a few pints, a trip to the Rec to see Aldershot play, a few episodes of our favourite sitcoms back at the house and the attempted decimation of a bottle of whisky. If the Shots win, it’s just the icing on the cake.

So, tonight was a perfect Nicktor Night…without the icing.

The Shots played very well last Saturday (the opening game of the season) to beat Plymouth and we expected great things at this, our first home game. Add to that the fact that we were playing Exeter who were thrashed by Morecombe (0-3) and we figured we were up for the win.

For the first time ever, the Shots featured a team of cheer leaders. They’re called the HotShots and, according to the Shots website, they are a dance troupe. They looked like cheer leaders to us. They certainly brightened up a dull night, easily becoming the highlight.

Right from the kick off, the game looked like it was going to be a bad one. Misdirected passes, big hoofing shots sent the length of the pitch, ridiculous free kicks given away. Fortunately it wasn’t just us playing so badly. Exeter, as well, were playing like a group of strangers.

And then, out of nowhere, Exeter scored. The goal came from the boot of the night’s best player, Jamie Cureton. He was ever prepared to jump on anything, playing the perfect striker. Everyone on the Slab groaned.

In the one bright moment of the game, we bounced back almost immediately with a goal of our own. Craig Reid, a summer signing, doing the honours. And so it stayed drawn at half-time. We hoped that Dean, the manager, was giving them a right dressing down, sending them back out onto the pitch ready to perform at a higher level of skill than a team of penguins.

Whatever he said had absolutely no effect on them (unless he said, “Go out there lads and play like a team of penguins.“) and the second half was as dismal as the first. It wasn’t the worst game I’ve ever seen at the Rec but it’s definitely close.

Anyway, near the end of the game we were awarded a free kick down near the corner flag at their end. It was directly opposite us on the Slab and we all held our collective breath, waiting for the inevitable cross to come sailing across the goal mouth.

And then, in one of the strangest free kicks I’ve ever seen, the ball was kicked in the wrong direction, right to the feet of Jamie Cureton who, having only one defensive player to beat took it all the way down the pitch. He fired the ball home, forcing our goalie into an excellent reflex save. Unfortunately, the ball bounced back to Cureton and he slotted it home.

I don’t know what idiot thought that this free kick strategy was worth trying but he really shouldn’t be working in professional football. Mind you, to read the BBC match report, you’d have no idea this is what happened.

There’s been quite a few changes to the team since the end of last season and, given the evidence of tonight’s game, they are going to need to get used to playing together before they play like a cohesive whole. We’re hoping this doesn’t take too long.

Good or bad, the game left us needing a drink (sometimes we celebrate, other times we drown our sorrows). Fortunately we had a new bottle of Breton whisky (Nicktor picked a bottle up while they were in Brittany) just dying to be opened. We didn’t disappoint it.