Bullets and brides

When we originally started planning and settling arrangements for our Japan trip, we decided not to book onto a bullet train because our arrival time may have upset the plans. For starters our plane was due to land at 05:25 and we’d have to get across town to the bullet train station and who knew how long that could take? (Actually we knew exactly how long it would take because the Japanese rail system is extraordinary.)

Well, our worst fears were confirmed today as time kept vanishing from our hands. First the plane was slightly late then four planeloads of passengers met at customs and border control at the same time causing an enormous long line of disgruntled but forced to remain reasonable people. Naturally this didn’t make Mirinda very happy, particular when we found ourselves behind two people who had to be hauled away for questioning for some unknown security infringement.

Still, eventually we were reunited with our luggage and on our way out to find the luggage storage facility at Haneda Airport. Actually that was me, Mirinda sat reading and trying not to get too annoyed with anyone silly enough to annoy her.

I had little problem finding the storage and had a jolly chat with the little Japanese lady who stored things. You see, there are two jobs at the storage facility; the lady who stores things and the lady who notes things down. The lady who notes things down was busy filling out a very complex docket with the dates I told her when the lady who stores things suddenly started flapping her arms and talking to me in Japanese. Then, spotting my bemused expression and blank eyes, she moved to a language we could both understand.

“But cheaper to store in a locker! Not here!”
“But I prefer to store it here.”
“But costs more!”
“But the locker’s only allow seven days and we want ten.”

She stopped and stared for a moment and then her face lit up in a big smile as she realised. She patted me on the arm to indicate how right I was and happily trotted away with our spare luggage.

Collecting The Grump, we then headed off to the train for the trip to Shinagawa from where the bullet train leaves…which wasn’t difficult but I’m glad we had the chance to check out the public transport system a few weeks ago because it made it so much simpler to buy a ticket from the machine. So much simpler that I joined the Japanese by getting annoyed at the German tourists who seemed to have no idea what they were doing but were happy to hold the rest of us up.

Eventually we were stood in the main hall of Shinagawa and I went to the ticket centre to get our seats for Kyoto. And everything was fine until I asked for two reserved seats to Kyoto.

“It is holiday week and all the trains are full this morning! I am sorry.”
“When will the next train be?” I asked full of dread.
“4:20 this afternoon,” she replied after entering something at super fast speed onto her computer.
“I’ll take them,” I said quickly in case someone else took them before I had a chance.

The ticket seller was extraordinarily apologetic because all the trains were full to bursting. And I mean REALLY apologetic. It was like it was her fault. Had there been a way to get us into a seat, she would have done it even if it involved selling her fingers. Then, however, I had to go and tell The Grump about our situation. She wasn’t happy.

The first item on the agenda of our extra day in Tokyo (after trying to stay awake which occupied us all day) was to find the lockers where we could at least rest our bags. Eventually I asked a kindly police officer. He smiled and pointed behind me. Having found the lockers, Mirinda changed her shoes, we locked the bags away and headed off.

We stopped across the road from Shinagawa Station at a place called Anna Miller’s where the waitresses wear the strangest uniforms. The place has a strange Sound of Music vibe going on but the waitresses are dressed like Slutty Heidis. I wouldn’t have thought such a thing was possible but I stand corrected.

We had eggs for breakfast and quite a few refills of their bottomless cups of coffee and were not (thankfully) serenaded by a cabaret version of Edelweiss. We then made our plan for the day.

It wasn’t much of a plan and involved a lot of amendment throughout the day. It also involved a lot of zombie style walking given our level of tiredness. Still…let’s not dwell on that that “…maun be endured” and discuss what we enjoyed.

There were quite a few shrines which I’ll not bother going into however we did find out what to do at them. You wash your hands from the tub (or fountain) using the little ladle. You then ring the bell in front of the shrine, bow twice, clap twice, bow once and pray. You can then buy a little prayer note for around £1 and tie it to a string line. It’s delightfully complex.

Speaking of strange religious practices…we also came across these dudes everywhere:

They look a bit like some Catholic has decided to promote a bunch of Buddhists to cardinal status. I’m not at all certain why they all need a bit of crocheting but I’m not religious. Maybe there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation…

(I do make myself laugh sometimes.)

We found an amazing temple complex somewhere during our meanderings. There wasn’t any English signage so we had to make a lot of stuff up. I really liked the fish…

…and the little wooden buckets. These buckets are for families to wash down their dead relatives’ memorials with. We saw a chap do it so we know that’s true and not made up in my fevered brain.

We sat in the main building for a bit, contemplating the cosmos then moved on to another randomly chosen spot on the map. This wound up being a lovely garden called Happo-en and it’s where everyone goes to get married. And most of them were there, getting married, today.

The whole place is organised especially for weddings. There are special photo spots dotted throughout the place with photographers and assistants buzzing around making sure everyone is in the pictures. There are some amazing bonsai trees, occasionally up to 500 years old. There is an excellent cafe called Thrush where they make a mean omelette and pour a good beer.

We spent ages at Happo-en, watching the processions of western style wedding dresses mingling with kimono-clad guests. It was all very joyous if somewhat weird. We even wandered into the chapel where prospective brides and grooms were shown what they could expect at their own nuptials. When I asked the smiling, happy girl at the door to the chapel what flavour it was she said Christian. I’m not sure which brand so we’ll just leave it at that. Although the cross at the altar was a bit symbolic rather than graphic, the room was light and airy and there was no statuary…so not Catholic then.

While the chapel appears to be where most of the weddings take place, there is a proper Japanese shrine as well (probably just for photographs).

Anyway, we enjoyed our wander around, particularly the giant koi carp in the pond but were soon out and about again.

We headed for an art gallery in a park only to discover that the park is closed for building works and the art gallery closed along with it. Most annoying. A couple of hours looking at pictures and sitting down on comfy lounges would have been perfect. Instead we wandered a lot more eventually ending up back at Shinagawa station looking for a restaurant.

When we arrived at Shinagawa there was hardly any people around and when we were wandering the streets it was like a ghost town. I figured it was because it was holiday week and they’d all gone to Kyoto. Imagine our surprise when we returned to the main thoroughfare only to find millions of people walking around and taking up footpaths and, more importantly, seats in restaurants.

It was a struggle but eventually we had Singaporean seafood for lunch before FINALLY heading to the bullet train platform for our train.

What an experience the bullet train is. Firstly you have to be ready to leap on board because the train never waits more than two minutes at any station. Forward planning is essential. I had to figure out where to store the luggage because, other than the overhead racks, there’s not really anywhere for big bag storage except for a small space behind the last row of seats in each carriage. And this is what the forward planning is for. It’s very important to be in front of the door corresponding to the end of the carriage.

Having leapt aboard, I had a very agreeable conversation with a lovely Japanese man who offered to move his pram so I could put our bags behind it. When he left the train he moved the bags so they wouldn’t roll everywhere. Such a nice man. One of those random acts of kindness you hear and read about but rarely have happen.

Then your senses are completely befuddled when you realise that the seats are NOT squashed up together and there is a MASSIVE aisle to walk down. This is so not like any other transport system I have ever been on anywhere. The train carriages are actually designed for human comfort rather than quantity. And talk about smooth ride. No jiggling and jumbling along like British trains.

Actually they are so smooth that ours put Mirinda to sleep. She was determined to stay awake to see Mt Fuji and, to be fair, she did but not for long. The view of the mountain was a bit obscured today because the weather wasn’t all that clear. Still, the shape and snow is instantly recognisable even through the haze of low cloud.

Something I really liked was how the train crew bow to everyone as they walk through the train. They bow at the door then bow as they leave. It’s very nice and you realise they are there to serve you. This is opposed to the system in England whereby the guards feel it beneath them to consider the passengers as they mumble stuff over the tannoy and look like the Fat Controller. I have a lot more respect for the Japanese attitude.

The quick boarding at one end is echoed at the debarkation point. In fact the train gives warnings (in Japanese and English) that the station is rapidly approaching and that it will depart rapidly afterwards. As soon as the announcement starts, people are up and organising themselves for the exodus. I assume it’s not so bad at the terminus but that’s not where we were going so we joined the throng at the starting gate.

It’s amazing but two minutes is actually quite enough time for a train to empty and we were soon on our way out of Kyoto station (131 minutes after leaving Shingawa) and getting into a cab to the hotel.

We checked in, dumped our bags then went in search of some light food. Our hotel is situated near three small markets one of which (at least) is open 24 hours. We bought some sashimi, tea, coffee and milk (at least we guessed it was milk).

Finally we crashed. We were asleep in seconds. It was a big and very tiring day.

However, I feel I must end this blog post on the strangest thing so far this trip. Introducing the (drum roll, please) SHOWER TOILET!