At around 2am today, I felt a strange rumble in my lower torso. Obviously, I’d been asleep but it woke me up with an insistence that I didn’t want to contemplate. There was, however, a choice. Go back to sleep or head for the toilet. Fortunately, I opted for the latter.
It was when I passed by the big red clock in the kitchen that I realised what the time was. Outside, of course, it was pitch black. The extra car in the driveway indicated that our stuga guests were back. In fact, they had returned some time earlier. Emma announced them in her usual manner – high-pitched barking. By 2am, however, all the lights in the stuga were out. Apart from me and my intestines, the rest of the world appeared to be fast asleep.
Later, during our delightfully prolonged goodbye, Elisabeth, Greg and Elsa told me that the reception/child’s birthday party had gone really well and they’d enjoyed it immensely. All in all, it sounded like they had had a great weekend. Actually, for them, it wasn’t really over as they were headed over to Strängnäs in order to collect the cat, before going home.
While we were idly chatting, I asked them why Swedish lamb shanks are so small. They were nonplussed. This may seem an odd and obscure question but it occurred during a talk about Australian versus British meat products. Tonight I cooked lamb shanks, so the question sprang easily from that.
Neither of them knew the answer. Mind you, while comparatively small, they are still delicious. Especially in a saffron coating and accompanied by Hungarian asparagus.
But all of that was later. Back at 2am, I made it to the toilet with narry a moment to spare. There followed an explosion one doesn’t want to imagine as I thanked whatever saint guards the sleeping from ignoring signs of abdominal distress. Finally, after a lot of dam busting activity, I went back to bed where sleep claimed me almost instantly.
Now, one might think that I possibly dreamed all of that. I didn’t. And I was glad I didn’t. Had it been a dream, I may just have made a huge mess in the bed which no-one should have to clean up.
And I don’t know what caused it or why. A strange and short bout of volcanic diarrhoea, best left forgotten.
