Mirinda decided I needed a haircut and beard trim a couple of weeks ago. While I may have disagreed, I thought I’d better get it done. Though it’s a bit annoying when it’s just reached the ponytail stage. And I can almost plait the beard.
So I booked an appointment with Jo at Bond’s Barbershop for last week. Then, of course, I had the Big Toe Issue, so I rebooked for this week. I went today.
Fortunately and strangely, it wasn’t raining, so I happily walked (well, hobbled) and arrived in the shop just before my appointed time. There was only one other customer there with a barber. When I entered Jo suddenly appeared and asked me if I had an appointment. She then showed me to the chair next to the other customer.
She declared that I had a lot of hair and gave an evil grin when I said it all had to go. She suggested a few lengths, then said I’d probably feel the cold when I left the shop. I settled back and she went to work.
While Jo and I chatted about all the wonderful places in the world and how expensive the barbers are in Sweden, another couple of chaps turned up. One had an appointment and the other wanted to book an appointment.
The chap next to me was finished and was just doing those final things that customers do in barbershops, including going to his coat which was on a hook by the door, in order to get his phone. There was a sudden hush after he said, “My phone’s been stolen! It’s in a red case! It’s hard to miss!“
There followed a frantic search of the entire shop, with the customer steadfast in his belief that he had zipped it up in his coat pocket. He even showed us all, zipping it for extra emphasis. Turning it inside out to show it was not in there.
“I zipped it up, here, in my coat pocket!“
Everyone was confused at this stage. How could anyone sneak into a nearly empty barbershop, unzip the pocket of a coat and steal a mobile phone, then get away? I thought it had to be one brilliant thief. Maybe the amazing Assane Diop could do it but I doubt anyone else could.
“It must have been the guy with the beard. Remember? He came in after I sat down.“
When I declared my innocence, the customer said he meant the guy with the black beard. He had come in, then had hung around for a bit before leaving. The barber said he had come in to book an appointment.
After a while, the customer left, in a bit of a frantic tizz, determined to track down the black bearded man and get his phone back. We had visions of him accosting every black bearded man in Lymington High Street, demanding the return of his phone.
There was then a long and often hilarious discussion about how and where the phone had gone. The barber reckoned the customer probably left it in the last place he’d been. Maybe on a bar. Or in a toilet.
Things slowly returned to the normal, barber client chitter chatter, when a man suddenly arrived, brandishing a phone in a red case.
“Someone put this in my coat while I was getting my hair cut,” He declared. “I was wondering why my coat felt heavier than normal. I was wondering if someone here knows who it might belong to.“
Of course, it was the customer’s phone. The two coats were identical, and he’d obviously acted without really looking. Anyway, we all burst into laughter. The guy who had accidentally acquired a phone in a red case also laughed once he found out how it had happened.
I left them, wondering how they could let the customer know his phone was safe.
During all the hilarity, mystery and discovery, Jo did a splendid job on my head and face, and I left, feeling a new man.
And, for the record, my ears were a bit cold on the walk home.
I should also thank Jo and the rest of the people at Bond’s for excellent blog entry fodder.
