David Ratinbrough

We need a dedicated calendar that shows when the half term hell happens. Imagine my horror when I discovered our plane to Malaga was not just full but it was full of kids and their exasperated parents.

I felt sorry for the poor BA staff aboard the plane who had to almost continually tell the kids to sit and buckle up during the takeoff and landing. Pity really because I was kind of looking forward to seeing them flying around the cabin.

Actually the flight was delayed a bit because something happened to the original pilot (half term angst maybe) and the replacement had to be summoned to take the captain’s seat.

He told us all about it as we sat on the tarmac. He was quite jolly for someone who, two hours ago, had been sitting at home watching the wrestling. Mirinda said he should stop being so jolly and just fly the bloody plane. Eventually he did and we all had a reasonable flight to Spain.

Apart from the delay, the whole morning had been smooth and problem free. Carol turned up on time and delivered us to terminal 5 with time to spare. My walking stick allowed us a quicker trip through security than most people and eventually we were sat, waiting for our gate.

We had wanted to get a drink at a bar but that proved impossible because of inefficient staff and people too rude to queue. We just sat instead.

Arriving at Malaga we eventually left the hordes behind us, including one incredibly awful woman who Denise managed to deliberately on purpose, cut up at the airport exit.

We jumped into a cab which delivered us to our cool and funky hotel in downtown Malaga.

Picasso the fish painting the room yellow

After a short rest we headed out for dinner.

The first few recommended restaurants were packed, the next restaurant we came to had a waiting time of an hour so we settled on an interesting Spanish-Japanese fusion place called El Imperdible.

The food was imaginative and delicious. It was also quite beautiful.

My ox tail dumplings were amazing.

Denise’s barrel of vodka was quite extraordinary. I’m surprised they didn’t just put the lemonade into the bottle of vodka and be done with it. She staggered all the way back to the hotel.

Fortunately the storms announced by our pilot did not eventuate and we remained dry and warm.

The title comes courtesy of a fellow passenger telling his companion that it would be an excellent name for his pet rat.


Today saw an estimated 750,000 people march through London asking for a People’s Vote on the Brexit Deal we really don’t want. It was extraordinary.

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