Gym-antics

When you go to the gym as often as I’ve been going over the last few months, you notice things. Annoying things, weird things, just things.

In the latter category is the group of people who flooded the place at the beginning of January as a result, I assume, of New Year’s resolutions. There has been a few of them dropping off. Of course, I could be maligning them – they might have changed to a different time or been struck down with some virulent strain of gym-exhaustion. You never know.

One person I’ve noticed is a young woman of about 20 (that’s a big guess on my part because I’m crap at age estimation). She would arrive around the same time as me and leave shortly before me. I noticed her mainly because she used the bike next to the one that I usually use then she’d use a weight machine near me afterwards. Well, I haven’t seen her for the last couple of weeks. Maybe she’s on holiday. Maybe she’s just quit.

I have to say that I’m happy about the drop outs because there’s never a problem waiting for machines in my morning slot…which is great.

A big annoying thing is the way guys leave the locker doors open after they’ve finished with them. This might seem a bit churlish but the top lockers are at head height and, between the lockers block the walkway. It’s not difficult closing the doors but, I guess, it takes a bit of thoughtfulness which must be in short supply in the men’s changing room. Obviously I can’t speak for the women.

Possibly the most annoying thing is how much space some guys take up when getting ready to leave. They take up most of the bench space with neatly folded piles of clothes, a massive gym bag, lotions and potions as well as personal grooming tools. Having spread themselves out to take up as much room as possible they then walk off in order to primp in front of the bank of mirrors at the door. This can involve hair drying, shaving and face pulling (no idea).

They will eventually return to coat themselves with all manner of chemicals under the misapprehension that they will smell nice and appealing to their preferred objects of desire. I can’t get out quick enough when I see the banks of foul smelling eau d’colognes and face astringents. I shudder as I leave.

The weirdest thing is how some guys don’t turn the water off in the showers. How is that even possible? Very weird. Possibly as weird is how long some guys spend in the shower. I’m not sure what they do to occupy their time but it all seems more than necessary.

But, enough gym-antics. Here’s a (very) short video of Emma and Freya at the top of the Queen’s Bottom.