Nicktor loves a bit of football violence. Not participating, I hasten to add. But he loves it in films. I think it reminds him of his youth. It just makes me glad I didn’t grow up in the UK.
Because Nicktor is so enamoured, whenever he spots a movie that purports to be entrenched in the blood soaked terraces, he always grabs it for our ‘entertainment’. We watched a frightful little example tonight.
One of classics of the genre is Green Street, which we saw years ago. Then they made Green Street 2 which, naturally, wasn’t anywhere near as good. This week he spotted Green Street 3 and couldn’t resist it. And tonight we watched it.
The best thing I can say about it is that it gave some people a bit of employment and kept them off the dole for a bit. While not the worst film we’ve been subjected to, it comes mighty close.
Ignoring the appalling acting (I use the term in its loosest sense), the awful script, the ridiculous premise and weird establishing shots of Canary Wharf, there was no intentional humour in it AT ALL! Of course, being such an awful movie, it had quite a lot of unintentional humour littered through it, but that doesn’t count (laughing AT the movie isn’t the same as laughing WITH the movie).
Actually, there is ONE intentional joke in it. It’s almost the final line of dialogue. It was with great relief that we laughed.
Even the basic premise of football hooliganism had fallen by the wayside as this was a cross between a revenge movie and an ad for street fighting. Basically, it was bollocks.
Honestly, we watch some rubbish.
Then, we watched two more episodes of Chancer, which made us feel a lot better.
I also need to mention the phone mystery…at about 9pm I had a text from Mirinda, asking me to call her mobile. Which I did. When I asked why she hadn’t phoned the landline, she told me she had but it was constantly engaged.
This was a bit odd and, I incorrectly assumed it was because the phone was flat. Not only was it not flat but it was also nowhere to be seen. When I checked the second phone (upstairs) it showed that the other handset was active, somewhere in the house.
It took a while but, eventually, I found it under the armchair. It was on, waiting for the entry of a phone number and had been for six hours and 29 minutes. And then I remembered.
In the afternoon I was in the kitchen when the dogs started barking at something outside and I heard something fall onto the floor. I went into the lounge and had a look but everything looked fine. There was nothing on the floor and all the remotes were present and correct.
Clearly Carmen had been about to make a phone call when Day-z disturbed her with her intruder alert yapping. Not thinking, Carmen simply dropped the phone, without hitting the red button, and it fell beneath the armchair.
I should also mention that not only did the barmaid at the Albion recognise us and know what our food order was, she also said she missed us last week.