Buttons

Wet all day and miserable which matched the poodles who were also miserable because it meant no walk. It also matched Mirinda who is miserable, having been sick now for over a week. And it matches me because I’m gradually succumbing to a cold…well my nose is stuffed up.

I had an eye test today because my glasses fell into one of my Wellington boots when I was about to put them on. The boots, not the glasses. For some time now, they have been driving me mad. The screw in one arm keeps coming loose and falling off. It’s because I only need them for distance and have to take them off for reading (or texting or using the PC) and I’m not particularly careful about where I put them or how they land. I’ve had the screw replaced a number of times but the arm is now twisted all out of shape and the entire frame is merely balancing on the bridge of my nose, waiting for any old gust of wind to blow them off.

I was standing at the back door. I reached down for my Wellington boot. I looked down at my foot, in order to guide it into the snug fitting boot. My glasses managed to dodge my foot and nestle on the bottom. I just managed to stop my foot in time. I decided things had reached that proverbial pretty pass. I needed new glasses. Yesterday I made an appointment with Valerie and today I went.

The Optometrist is quite close to Starbuck’s which is quite close to Waitrose. There’s a gradually emerging pattern to my shopping, I fear. Anyway, I sat with Valerie as she did the usual “Read the final line” routine and we joked about people losing their glasses. I told her that if Mirinda lost hers, she could use mine but I couldn’t use hers because they are too strong. Valerie thought this was very amusing, saying that women can always use men’s things but it’s not always the same the other way.

We then chatted about work and shopping and my sick wife at home in bed. I told Valerie that I had been sent on an errand for buttons but had refused. Valerie thought this was hilarious. I told her, I’d happily bought the double-sided tape and the A4 spiral bound pad but buttons was just a step too far. Valerie sympathised and wondered where I would buy buttons in Farnham. I immediately said Elphicks.

“Oh, I know where they are, Valerie but I’m not getting them. I refuse,” I said.
“But why,” she asked, all innocent.
“Because there’s thousands of buttons in Elphicks and the chances of me picking the right ones are slim, to say the least.”

She agreed. And there is a Wall of Buttons in Elphicks. I know. Mirinda asked me to buy her a clothes brush in Elphicks and I saw it. I was frightened.

A cause for celebration! Not the soon to arrive 2010. Oh no! I finished my DITA assignment and submitted it tonight! I’m free! Well, until next week, that is.