The House Husband

with occasional entries by The Dean

That won’t work in the rain

The snow is all but gone! This morning we woke to grey clouds and rain, turning the snow to mere pools of it’s former glory. Sadly, Mirinda really missed out on the beauty. Last night we walked home via Borelli Walk but even here the snow was vanishing quicker than a ice cube in a microwave. Everything is now looking a bit sad and forlorn. Even my snowman is merely a puddle. I observe, however, that Snowy next door, though clearly dead, is still fairly recognisable as a snowman.

As a side note to this entry, I have just read (completely unauthenticated I should add) that Farnham is one of the most haunted towns in England. There’s apparently several at the Bush hotel and a particularly active ghost in Borelli Yard. Both the Borelli Walk and Borelli Yard are named after Charles Ernest Borelli (1873-1950). He was a local politician who, along with architect Harold Falkner, were largely responsible for conserving Farnham as a Georgian town. We have them to thank for how perfect the town centre can look and the preservation of the ‘yards’ etc.

I’m pretty sure we could draw a line directly from these two guys to the later decisions not to allow too many chain stores and fast food places into Farnham, ensuring it would not become another boring clone town. And here it is, apparently a ghost town instead. Not that I’ve seen any, of course. Or heard any for that matter. Perhaps Bob and/or Claire can comment on the ghosts in the Bush Hotel.

Walking into Farnham this morning was a very slushy experience. Life, it seems, has returned to normal. Traffic once more crowding Castle Street, mobs crowding the footpath in the Borough, shopping trolleys crowding the aisles in Waitrose. The only crowd free place was, thankfully, Starbucks. (Today Alex the Schumanian was wearing an odd glittery Alice band on her head. It looked odd. When I asked her why, she shrugged and said “It looked happy.” I can’t really argue with that.) So, for possibly the first time in two weeks, I could enjoy a relatively noise and people free coffee.

As I entered Starbucks, standing outside all orderly and well behaved, were two Dalmatians. No leads, just sitting, patiently waiting for their owner who was inside buying a coffee. Amazing, I thought. Our two wouldn’t do that. As soon as the door opened, they’d be in. But I walked past the Dalmatians, patting their heads as I did, opened the door and walked in and they didn’t move.

But, continuing on about crowds…for some reason, every time I tried to go down an aisle in Waitrose this morning, it was blocked by two trolleys, the drivers of which were chatting or just generally dithering over product selection. I always use a basket rather than try and manoeuvre anything large around the store but even that was a pain today. I’m sure people do it just to annoy me. They all hide in the aisles until I approach, then, on some supersonic wavelength, a signal is given and they all bunch up, blocking my way. I’m fairly sure they all have a jolly good laugh about it afterwards. It reminds me of flash crowds.

It’s amazing the number of great photo opportunities I miss. This morning, for instance, returning from Farnham and heading up Long Garden Walk, ahead of me I spotted a woman holding an umbrella, standing behind a pram. Nothing odd in that, naturally, but to her right was an upturned umbrella resting on the ground, gloriously open to the elements. I fumbled with my phone, trying to get the camera working as I moved closer. I was ready to take the picture when someone walked by from in front of her and blocked the shot. I tried again but I was too late. From in front of the pram (and out of my sight) was, I assume, the father of the child. He stood up, grabbed the umbrella and they walked off.

Bugger“, I thought, putting my phone back in my pocket, “There goes the picture for today’s blog entry.”

We walked the poodles up to the castle and back in the late afternoon. All the lovely snow has been replaced by slimy, muddy splodgy, grass. At least that’s how most of it felt beneath our feet.

posted by admin in Gary's Posts and have Comments (2)

Too much cheese

Rain all day. Wet, drizzly, miserable, grey-skied day. Not pleasant. Pity I haven’t put my weather station outside yet. There would have been some good readings today.

My trip into town was delayed today due to my sleeping in and having to wait for the Sainsbury’s delivery. Normally they arrive a few minutes early (ie before the hour stated) but today he was ten minutes before the end of the hour. Also he didn’t chat or smile like usual. I have to assume they are still catching up with the pre-Christmas deliveries that were seriously hampered by the snow. Anyway, he arrived and delivered; I donned raincoat and hat and, finally, I was away.

Farnham was reasonably crowded but not ridiculously so. I was only forced into the gutter a few times by mad pram drivers. It was the umbrellas that overcrowded the town today.

I hate umbrellas. I wouldn’t mind if they were only as wide as the person beneath it but oh no, people have to brandish these massive golf umbrellas like some sort of weird machismo talisman. You can tell from the smug look on their faces what they are thinking: “Ha! Look at the size of mine! Jealous lot. See how successful I am? See how much of the pavement I can claim? HA!

Inwardly, I groan. It would almost be worth it to get poked in the eye by one just so you could sue the inconsiderate bastards. In fact, I take great malicious pleasure when a big wind comes up and blows them inside out. Sadly this doesn’t happen very often.

And why do they keep them over their heads when they are walking under things? Or standing under shelters talking to someone?

Anyway, the high street was full of mad prams and gigantic umbrellas, ruining my day. OK, not really ruining my day. I don’t let that sort of thing get to me. Oh no, there’s far more important things. Like Starbuck’s running out of hazelnut syrup!

Well, I can happily report, that that particular dilemma has been resolved. Today they had a new batch and almond was not forced down my throat. All my Starbuck’s chums were working today. Beccy, Alex, young American guy, big smiley guy who looks a bit like Nigel, elf girl. It was nice to be greeted by so many people I only know through my choice of coffee. And none of them know my name. Totally weird.

I mean how do you get to the point where they do know your name? I’ve often wondered. Does it happen because you have mutual friends? Or because someone yells out to you across the place and use your name? Or when you accidentally forget to take your name tag off? This happened to me when I worked in Woking. I always had the same coffee at the same time at the same coffee place every day. They started calling me Gary at some point and it took me ages to realise it was because I was always wearing my ID around my neck.

Having had my coffee, it was into Waitrose and a post-shop chat with one of the check-out ladies. The topic today was the excess of Christmas food. It’s amazing how much of a conversation you can fit into £12 of supermarket transaction.

She dined at her son’s place this year and there was a LOT of food. Then he was coming to her on the day after Boxing day but he didn’t turn up. So she had a whole load of food left over to go along with the food she’d been given from his place. While I sympathised with the amount of turkey I’m still eating (I actually finished the last of it for lunch today) she said that wasn’t the problem.

Oh no,” she said, “It’s the cheese. There’s always too much cheese.

It seems she had gone mad buying cheese and had lots left over which she and her husband have been slowly nibbling through. I explained that I had done the same thing. I bought a whole load of cheese for Christmas and it didn’t get eaten (we sat and ate most of it yesterday).

Trouble is,” she continued, “My husband’s doctor has said he has to cut down on cheese, not eat more of it! Which means I’ve got to eat it all!

I thought about this on the way home. I should say, I thought about lots of things. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I spent the entire 15 minute walk focussed on cheese. And I thought about (see?) the awful waste that Christmas represents. Not just in quantities of cheese but in wrapping paper, cards, uneaten food, ruined presents, unwanted presents, etc, etc. Is that what makes us civilised? The fact that we can buy, not use and discard if we want? See? Sometimes I get quite serious during my walk home.

Latest news on my DITA assignment is that I should finish sometime tomorrow! Hip, hip hooray!

posted by admin in Gary's Posts and have Comment (1)