The House Husband

The dogs were sent to the kennel, the house tidied for a viewing, my hair washed and face shaved and, finally, I was off to London to meet Mirinda for our monthly trip to the West End.

Today we saw the amazingly wonderful One Man Two Guvners at the Adelphi Theatre. It’s a modern reworking of the Goldini play The Servant of Two Masters and is hilarious. We laughed so much we thought we’d explode. I understand why tickets are s hard to get hold of.

I can also see why it transferred from the National after word on the street alerted the population to the fact that it is brilliant. It was on a limited run at National but the theatre going public demanded more performances!

And not only that…it’s soon to transfer once more, this time to the Theatre Royal Haymarket. And if the performance we saw today is anything to go by (a matinee completely full) then they could just run and run…except…

I think part of the reason behind the success of this play is the fact that James Corden is playing the lead role. He is excellent as Francis Henshall, the ‘man’ of the title, to the extent that I feel sorry for anyone who will not have seen him by the time his run has ended.

But I am getting just a little bit ahead of myself. As I reached the Strand, I realised there was a bit of a demo going on. I figured I’d have a problem crossing the road, thinking back over other demos I’d been caught up in. Zurich, Paris, etc – we’d always end up being on the wrong side of the road. So it was only natural that I was afraid I’d miss meeting Mirinda at our preordained meeting place.

I watched as the monstrous crowd of about 150 protesters marched by. It was a bit difficult to work out what they were protesting about except maybe the humanitarian efforts to save the pink bear from extinction.

Hippies, especially in pink bear outfits, should be avoided

After the police vans, which outnumbered the demonstrators by about five to one, I managed to easily skip across the road and meet Mirinda outside the Adelphi Theatre, which was just a heaving mass of humanity.

Which brings me back to the play! Which was brilliant…which I believe I’ve said. Mirinda claimed it was the best thing she’s ever seen (again). Very highly recommended for anyone who wants to ache from laughter.

As I said, James Corden really makes the stage his own and the play will be very different with a different lead but, like the transition from David Tennant to Matt Smith, we can only hope that the casting is sufficiently different to make it work.

I would just like to thank Ben, profusely for insisting we go and see it. Boy, was it worth it.

After the play (during which we missed the horrendous downpour) we headed down to the ferry then took the slow boat to Canary Wharf where we rested up before our dinner date at Amerigo Vespucci.

Great food (lovely Italian), great service and great that it’s very close to the flat. Which is why we’ve dumped the dogs into the kennel. You see, this weekend is not just our monthly going to London and watching a West End show type of thing…it’s also our living in the UK anniversary. 14 years. That’s how long we’ve been here. We drank a toast then carried on talking about Mirinda’s French lessons.

The meal was fine apart from there being too much calamari in the starter. Way too filling!

All in all, a lovely day. Tomorrow we’re supposed to be going to Greenwich…we shall see.

Everyone knows the story of Dr Faustus. How he sells his soul to the devil in exchange for earthly, mortal pleasures but regrets it. Christopher Marlowe (who I prefer to Shakespeare) wrote his version sometime before 1594. I saw an updated version of Marlowe’s play tonight at the Electric Theatre in Guildford and it was fabulous.

Director John Wright has taken the Elizabethan text and moulded it to make sense to a modern audience. He has dragged the comedy, kicking and screaming from within Marlowe’s text and presented it, all guns blazing, in a tour de force of interpretation. This is how Shakespeare should be performed! With imagination in translation, so everyone can find it accessible instead of the art snobs who seem to think purity is so important.

The cast of three were wonderful. They play off each other superbly, with a confidence borne of utter belief in each other. Weaving magic tricks, songs and a ventriloquist’s dummy through it as seamlessly as if it was originally written that way.

Nicholas Collett as Faustus, Anthony Gleave as Mephistopholis and Shelley Atkinson as Lucifer all held the audience firmly in their hands. An audience, incidentally, mostly made up of high school kids obviously studying the original play. They were all buzzing with excitement in the foyer afterwards, discussing the central themes and performances like I’ve never seen at a Shakespeare performance. It was wonderful to hear.

However, for me, the best thing was that Dawn came with me and enjoyed it as much as I did. I was really worried she’d be incredibly bored but, no, she loved it too. We talked about it in the car afterwards, discussing the whats, whys and whos of the production.

A great night out, thoroughly enjoyed.

On Friday after work, I met Mirinda and we went and saw The Rivals at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket. It’s a famous comedy, written by Richard Brinsley Sheridan and first produced in 1775. It’s first performance was at the Theatre Royal, Convent Garden, so not so very far away from it’s present run.

We’ve seen the play performed before but wanted to see this production because firstly, it was directed by legendary Peter Hall, and, secondly, Penelope Keith is playing the delightful Mrs Malaprop and Peter Bowles, a marvellous Sir Anthony Absolute. It was all very, very good. And a delight from start to finish.

But before we arrived at the theatre, Mirinda had a coffee with a Tasmanian who works for the agency responsible for her new placement. While waiting, I wandered around Oxford Circus as the sun slowly set and the crowds grew thicker. Honestly, some of them had no IQ at all!

Given I’m not in this part of town except when forced, I popped down to Carnaby Street for a bit of a squizz. I then had a pint in the packed Argyle Arms (a lovely Victorian pub in all respects apart from the crowds) and a wander around HMV before settling down for a coffee at Costa’s, where I received a text from Mirinda to say she was outside Liberty’s, which she wasn’t.

Entrance to Carnaby Street, London

From Liberty’s we wandered down to Haymarket, passing through the horrendous Piccadilly Circus, heavingly full of the Friday night crowd. We decided to take tea at the Italian place right next door to the theatre, followed by a taking of the air wander down King Charles Street – which ties in nicely with the book I’m reading at the moment concerning Charles II and the Restoration of the monarchy – the first ten years.

The theatre is lovely, as most Theatre Royals tend to be. Our tickets were dead centre, about eight rows back. We arrived with two minutes to spare and forced everyone to stand up so we could get to our seats. Rather nice to be the annoying ones for a change.

The play was great. Lots of laughs and some fine acting. Penelope was wonderful though a tad bit likeable for Mrs Malaprop which meant the final bit of slagging off didn’t quite go down as it ought. Peter was wonderful. The last time we saw him was in a production of Deathtrap and he forgot his lines a few times through it. I was worried because of this but need not have bothered for he was excellent.

The rest of the cast was very good, particularly Lydia Lanquish (played by Robyn Addison) in her first professional role. There were two other well known faces from television as well. Keiron Self, the other dentist in My Family played Bob Acres very well and Tony Gardner, the guy who owns the cafe in Lead Balloon was an appropriately dour Faulkland.

All in all, a wonderful production and great fun.

Afterwards we had a lovely stroll back to Waterloo and caught a late train back home to the delight of a couple of manic poodles.

After last nights storm I figured today would be wet and miserable. How wrong I was! As well as the great news about Claire, the day simply shone as if in recognition. There was a frost in the morning so everything glistened in the sun. Nice and cold too. Just how I like it.

By the way, Carmen obviously just hurt her leg yesterday because she was fine when she woke up this morning. You’d think she was 100 years old the way she carries on. At one point she was standing at the top of the stairs, tail down, as she contemplated whether it was worth the bother going for dinner. Eventually I carried her, something she normally hates, and her tail went up! I also warned her that were she not better, we’d be going to the vet this morning. Possibly not the best ploy since they both love the vet!

Seeing as the day was so nice, I decided it was a good time to finish the cupboard in Mirinda’s study. Ok, it’s been quite a while but…actually there’s no excuse. It was just a door; a small hinged door to go at the top. It looked very simple. It wasn’t.

I’ve never been very good with hinges. I remember building sets in the old days and always getting them wrong. Very annoying when you have to make a dramatic entrance on stage and the door opens the other way. Can take the wind out of many a massive sail.

Still…I managed to finish it…now I just need to paint it. This will probably be on the weekend as Nicktor is coming over for a Nicktor Night tomorrow (I’m making burgers and chips…apparently) and I’m not sure he’d like breathing the fumes. Although the whisky fumes should counteract them…really.

I had a break during the door making and took the girls to the park and guess what? Something that has NEVER happened before in the park…well, to me, anyway. We saw a deer. 1:30 in the afternoon it was. The three of us couldn’t believe it. We stood in stunned silence as it bounded across the open area and into Badger Wood. To be fair, Carmen and I were stunned, Day-z was more bemused. She wasn’t really sure why we’d stopped walking.

Carmen was the first to wake up and she darted off towards where it had entered the wood. Excellent, I thought, fresh venison again. Sadly, Carmen just ran around in circles, chasing the nymphs and sprites she always sees…the ones no-one else can see. Still, it was pretty cool seeing a wild deer in broad daylight even if I didn’t get to eat it.

I wasn’t quite quick enough to get a photo of it…here’s a consolation. This is the big old tree trunk that sits up near the castle and from which one can sit and look over the town. I thought it looked especially attractive in the sun today.

Old tree trunk in the park

Also, after mum’s comment yesterday, here’s a close up of Carmen’s cheeky face. I think, mum, you were looking at Day-z, who is in front.

Carmen being very cheeky in the park - close up

Ages ago, Dawn suggested we all go and see a one woman play called Nun the Wiser. Last night we went and saw it. It was in Chichester so we decided to all travel down together from Dawn & Nicktor’s place. This grew into having dinner at theirs beforehand.

Nicktor cooked up a storm…actually, he heated up a storm and cooked one of the dishes. Very nice it was too. All very Indian. And lots of beer. Mirinda duly wandered around and looked at all the changes to the house and garden since last she visited. They appear to have the biggest apple mint leaves in the world. A herb suffering from gigantism.

The play, while being very funny in parts, was not really the sort of thing I enjoy. It is a rare one-person show that keeps my attention. I missed a fair bit of this one as I was asleep. According to the others, it was very good.

For reasons that I didn’t quite get, this woman became a nun and the play is about her life during that time. I think she lasted a year then stopped being a nun. That was it, really.

It was performed in the Bishop’s Kitchen, behind Chichester Cathedral. Outside is a lovely green where we had pre-show and interval drinks. We then had a long drive back.

It was a well mixed, delight of a day. From Farnham to Tilford to Woking. Most enjoyable…even with gout.

According to the BBC, today was supposed to be bright and blue and warmish. As we woke, the view out the window was grey and gloomy and chilly. This changed quite quickly. As I walked into Farnham, the clouds split apart and the sun burst forth.

During the week, at the Talking Newspaper, one of the stories I read concerned the re-opening of the Rural Life Centre at Tilford after the winter break. I’d never been. I thought that Mirinda had but she hadn’t either. I told the poorly sighted listeners I was going to visit this weekend. So we did. After lunch and a couple of episodes of CSI, we set off.

The Rural Life Centre was started in 1969 with a single plough. Now, thanks to the hard work of a group of very determined volunteers, it covers 10 acres, has a small railway running around it, has numerous buildings taken from other places and more farm implements than anyone could hope to shake any form of wood at.

It reminded Mirinda of Australiana Village. It is a collection of buildings, some old, some not so, which contain memorabilia. Everything has something to do with rural life, as the name suggests. A lot of the buildings have come from local areas, been dismantled and then erected here. For instance, there’s a grain store which was once in Borelli Yard in Farnham. Naturally, Mirinda fell in love with the green gypsy caravan.

Gypsy Caravan

This isn’t an original one, though. It was built by one of the volunteers (called ‘Rustics’) and he sleeps there when he’s one site, working. For that reason, it’s not open to the public like everything else. Because he may be asleep in there. It’s very pretty and would look quite natty in our back garden.

They also promised a working Wealden furnace which is yet to be completed. This was the main reason I wanted to go. I thought it was going to be a bloomery but, no. It has an overshot wheel and hammer and everything! It’s just not quite finished. Looks like I’ll just have to go back then…

There are lots of buildings and lots of stuff. I shall post some pictures later. Suffice to say, we had a very enjoyable wander round before heading back home.

Mirinda took the poodles for a walk around the park while I prepared dinner. You see we were dining early this week as we have tickets for a dance thing at the theatre in Woking. Traces it was called. It was only on for one day. We didn’t miss it.

It was actually quite amazing. Not really my thing. According to Mirinda, I am far too boring in my need for narrative. It’s an odd thing. Naturally I can watch people do some amazing things with their bodies and be stunned by feats as much as the next person but if it doesn’t have some sort of story, I just end up getting bored. It doesn’t hold my attention.

Though that’s not exactly true of Traces. I didn’t get a chance to get even slightly, minutely bored. They were very good and one impossible thing followed the next. Most enjoyable.

We managed to get home in time for Match of the Day and I just saw Chelsea score 4-1 against West Ham.

I am including the photo below just because I thought it was really funny. It’s a horse ambulance but I think it looks like a horse limo and the horse in the back is wearing shades.

Horsey G-G

My Wonderful Day by Alan Ayckbourn
Review by Gaz

The premise of the play is a child’s view of an adult world, where she is an often ignored bystander to events. Within this, Winnie, the child, is writing an essay for her homework. It is a piece called My Wonderful Day. Because of this, we see her madly scribbling away whenever anything happens. A LOT happens!

Winnie’s mother, Laverne, is a cleaner and is heavily pregnant (about 10 days to go, she says). On this particular day, she brings Winnie to work with her on the condition she just sits quietly and doesn’t get in anyone’s way. At the same time, the people who live in the house are going through something of a crisis. Naturally this is all grist to Winnie’s mill as she takes it all down with gusto.

One of the funniest devices I’ve come across for a long time is the fact that Winnie and her mother have this deal. They are learning French together and, in order to achieve fluency for when they jet off to Martinique in the future of Laverne’s dreams, they speak only in French on Tuesdays. This means that the visitors to the house, and the owner, are convinced she only speaks French. This device has two functions. It’s clearly hilarious from the audience’s point of view because we know the truth and it gives the adults more freedom to speak in front of Winnie. It’s also just funny!

Anyway, the production was excellent, as most Ayckbourn productions are but the absolute stand-out is Winnie herself. She is 9 years old and played by Ayesha Antoine who is 28! And utterly convincing. I didn’t know how old she was during the play and was convinced she was a little girl with exceptional talent. Instead, it seems, she is a fully grown woman with exceptional talent. The play depends on you believing she is a little girl and it worked completely. A wonderful performance that I’m very glad I saw.

Of the rest of the cast, the mother (Petra Letang) and Paula (Alexandra Mathie) were both excellent. Paul Kemp, as Josh was a typical Ayckbourn downcast, set upon, Tom type character and managed it very well. Sadly, the other two didn’t particularly thrill me. I figured I could have managed the male lead a lot better and the young, bulimic girl just grated on my nerves. This sort of thing is fine in small doses but she just kept it up. When Paula threw her out, I felt like cheering.

So, all round, a wonderful night out. Plenty of laughs, some great performances and we have discovered some excellent seats which we will be trying for each time we go in the future.

As a side note, we have a theory that for a play to be good, it needs a cast which features a majority of actors who have appeared in The Bill. I have never kept particularly good records of this (sad given how much theatre we used to see) but I shall attempt to record the facts as we attend other performances. For this there were six actors and five of them have appeared in The Bill. I am calling this The Bill Factor. Therefore, My Wonderful Day has a Bill Factor of 6/5.

John Terry, allegedly, had an affair with the ex-girlfriend of Wayne Bridge, his Chelsea & England team mate. It made the front page of all the national UK papers today. And, apparently, having an extra-marital affair will hamper your ability to play football for your country. Also, there are things called super injunctions. So, if you want to keep things out of the media, you get an injunction. If you want to keep that injunction out of the media you get a super injunction. This means, you not only can’t talk about something but you can’t talk about the thing that has stopped you talking about it either.

I heard an interview on Football Focus. Three ex-footballers were asked about John Terry’s future as English captain since his affair has come to light. All three, very grave and concerned, were convinced that Capello (the England manager), known for being strict and moral, would strip him of his captain’s armband and demote him to…well, not being captain, I guess. Of course, all three spoke of it all in just emotive terms.

And then, following them, came the sports writer from the Financial Times. I much prefer his level-headed approach. Basically, he said, these are professionals. They are paid to play football and to win. When they are on the pitch, that’s what they do. They have to in order to justify their wages. Capello, too, is paid a lot of money to get England to, and maybe win, the World Cup this year. It is up to him to gauge how the team will be affected by the news story but really, Capello would have to think hard about removing one of the best players in the team.

And then Chelsea went to Burnley this afternoon and Terry showed his worth on the pitch. He scored the goal that won Chelsea the game.

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Anyway, today the sun was glorious hot, though the wind was frigidly cold. The two evened out somewhat to make a lovely day, full of blue skies. It seemed the perfect day to go to Frensham for a walk across the sandy hills and through the spiky gorse.

All was lovely and peaceful (I didn’t let the noisy trail bike riders upset me to much). The gorse that lines the path that follows the bronze age barrows on the top of the ridge has been bent over by the snow and is now growing across the path. This can be quite painful in shorts as gorse is covered in prickles, but when the temperature is just above freezing, this is not really an issue. We just brushed on through.

We passed a chap who said that ‘they’ had made a big path through the heather because of the snow. I couldn’t work out what he meant so I just nodded and smiled and said something inane so he’d think I had. He walked off smiling so I can only guess it worked. I’m pretty sure he didn’t tell me who ‘they’ were.

We have two options when we reach the top of the ridge. We can go straight back down and then around the pond or we can continue on, through the conifer woods then sweep down behind the pond. We hadn’t been round the back for ages so I voted for this. I was soon regretting it as we wound up sloshing through semi-frozen puddles of mud, half of which adhered to the puppies. Still, it was a lovely and long walk.

Mirinda & Puppies at Frensham

¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬

Tonight we went to the Yvonne Arnaud theatre and saw the new Alan Ayckbourn play, My Wonderful Day. It’s been a while since we went to the theatre together (I went to the opera in November and Mirinda went to the ballet a couple of weeks ago) and we always try to get to Ayckbourn’s latest as it always tours to Guildford.

Well, as usual, it was excellent. Maybe I’ll give it a proper write up tomorrow. It’s late and I’m half watching Match of the Day.