The House Husband

So, the sun now goes down at 4:30. Yesterday it went down an hour later. 5:30 didn’t seem quite so bad but 4:30? Feels far too early. Somehow, though, it feels about right for Halloween.

Last year I noticed that houses along our street put little pumpkins leading to their doors to indicate they were happy to chocify little ghouls and goblins. While I purchased the necessary ‘just-in-case’ Celebrations, we were shunned by the roaming groups of children. While generally quite glad, I was a bit disappointed not to get the standard visitation as I heard the shrieks up and down the streets.

This afternoon I had to journey down to the Londis for an onion and noticed a big lack of pumpkins and a couple of printed signs saying ‘No Trick or Treaters!’ boldly in pumpkin orange. I figured I’d probably get a haunting tonight. Upon hearing Mirinda’s experience earlier in the day, and wanting to make sure I was ready, I once more purchased a big container of assorted chocolates and planted them strategically on the junior Jali and waited.

At 6:30 there was a knock at the door. Of course, the poodles sprung into attack mode, their tails wagging furiously, tongues ready to lick to death any intruder. I opened the door to a group of young witches. None of them green. Sadly. They loudly threatened “Trick or Treat!” and the dogs were out and at them as I handed out chocs to them all.

They ranged in sizes and ages. The first was about 13 and the fifth was about 6. As I was about to call the evil attack poodles back inside, one of the witches said “Go on Max!” and a little chap stepped forward out of the shadows. Max was a bit shy…or was it embarrassment at having to accompany the witches? He looked about 8 and was wearing a ripped school shirt with splatters of blood on it, his face angelic and shy. I gave him an extra chocolate and a wink, saying he was lucky to be with so many pretty witches. He gave me a smile of sufferance and they all left, almost taking Carmen with them.

A little later (fortunately after The Archers) another gang of witches knocked at the door and were rewarded. Rather than a Max, this lot had a mum with them. The littlest witch was a bit scared of the poodles, particularly when an excited Carmen put her paws on the witch’s shoulders (she was quite small). Of course this made everyone laugh…except for the littlest witch who basically sobbed as she was led away.

So I’ve done my bit and spread dental decay a little further through the neighbourhood teeth. As I sit typing this I can still hear the sounds of haunting abroad. I’m glad I have the hounds to protect me.

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The day was far too awful for any nice photos of the park or the garden so, having thrown myself into cleaning up my study, I present the evidence that there is, in fact, a desk. I think it’s pretty close to pristine. Which is what I promised Mirinda.

My (almost) empty desk

Mirinda was a bit concerned about Nicktor sleeping on our lounge. I should stress she was more concerned with Nicktor than the lounge. And rightly so. I have slept on the lounge (during bouts of illness in the house) and, while it’s very comfortable and big, it slopes towards the back. This means that when you roll over you almost suffocate against it. It also makes it difficult for Day-z to stay asleep in the crook of your legs.

So, we decided to buy Nicktor a bed. Mirinda decided how we would reshuffle her study, allowing for a single bed under the window. It meant the change in location of two big bookcases. They are now in my study, making it look a lot like a second hand book store.

I ordered a bed through the same website I used for Mirinda’s bed at her flat. They were very good so I figured they deserved our business again.

And they proved excellent again. Two days after I ordered the bed, they rang to tell me that the bed would arrive any day this week I wanted. Obviously Monday was out so I chose Tuesday.

“No problem,” the woman said. “I’ve booked it in with the couriers. If you give them a ring on Monday and give them your postcode, they’ll be able to give you a rough estimate of the delivery time.”

When I rang on Monday I was told it would arrive some time between 7 and 10:30am. Of course this meant that if I were to sleep in, it would arrive at 7 on the dot, so I was up at 6:30 and waiting for them.

He arrived while I was on the phone to mum and dad. The bed, mattress and bed-head were dropped off in about ten minutes. It was then my job to man handle it upstairs, round the bend and through the door. It was a struggle but I managed it.

I unwrapped it, fitted the wheels, fitted the bed-head and pushed it into place. It looks pretty good and is definitely very comfy. But it still lacked the most important part.

While shopping in Farnham, I popped into Elphicks and found just the thing. A pale green, all cotton, waffle blanket. When I arrived home I wasted little time in spreading it on the mattress. Now Day-z would be able to get to her window sill without leaving muddy paw prints on it. The mattress, obviously. She ALWAYS leaves muddy paw prints on the sill.

I texted Nicktor to tell him his bed had arrived.

“How exciting,” was his response.

I had lunch with Dawn today. She’s all excited about doing her PHD again. She’s gone off the Romans but is thinking of doing prehistoric Sussex. We then talked about my dissertation and got all excited about that too.

And then she told me the horror story of her recent trip to Oxford with Trudi, whose navigation skills leave a lot to be desired. When they found themselves in Central London, she realised she had the map upside down. It took them for ever to get back on the right track.

Eventually they arrived in Oxford but then had major problems finding where they had to go to for the conference they were attending.

The conference was fun and then they set off back for home. This time, rather than Central London, they were almost at the docks at Southampton when Dawn insisted they turn round and go back in the opposite direction. Trudi wasn’t sure until Dawn pointed to the sign which indicated that there was nothing but water in front of them.

They eventually made it home. And Mirinda says bad things about my navigating. Bah!