The House Husband

Had a rather busy day today. It all started with Carmen licking my face at 6am to tell me it was raining…which it wasn’t. I let the poodles out and went back to sleep for another hour only to be woken by the recycling truck. I gave up and just waited for the alarm to go off at 7. I drifted in and out of consciousness until it did. I then rang a bleary sounding Mirinda so she could enjoy the morning as much as I had so far.

After coffee and toast I hitched the girls to their lead and took them on a good, long walk around the park. we met a few other intrepid early morning walkers. Fortunately I had built in a FSI buffer because Carmen decided to collect some particularly delicious samples to bring home with her. I needed the buffer because the taxi was arriving at 10.

After bathing Carmen and having a shower myself, the taxi arrived and took us to the kennel for the poodles’ holiday treat and then drove me back. I was going to repeat my last trip by taking the taxi to Frensham pond and then catch the bus back home but last night I received a phone call from someone on the Talking Newspaper to ask if he could swap times with me for today. Originally I was down for the 2pm slot which would give me heaps of time but he wanted to take that and give me the 12pm one instead. I actually preferred this, though it does mean a rather late lunch, but it meant I had to get the taxi both ways in order to get home in time to leave again.

I made it in plenty of time and set off along the path towards Farnham reciting my limited French in my head. I do this sometimes because I’m weird. Mind you, it doesn’t take very long. By the time I reached the end of the path, I had gone over my entire vocabulary about 150 times.

Standing at the end of the path were two chaps and a stroller. Standing beside the stroller was a child with blonde hair and blue eyes (about 2, I think) who smiled up at me and said “Bonjour.” Normally this would have caught me somewhat on the hop but I just naturally replied “Bonjour” with a smile and kept walking. It wasn’t until I reached the end of the lane and a woman said “Hello” that I realised I wasn’t actually in France. Very odd.

Anyway, the Talking Newspaper went well though I did have a bit of trouble saying “Liphook United under 10s…”. I had to say it four times! I kept missing out the ‘United’. That’s the problem with cold reading. You never know what particular bits are going to trip you up until they manage to do it successfully.

Back at home I finished testing yet another database, missing the dogs. I was engrossed in the screen when I heard a noise in the house. I turned the music off and listened. A tiny tinkle could be heard. It sounded like Carmen – the way her name tag hits her collar. I was stunned. Perhaps she’d managed to walk back from the kennel on her own after re-enacting the Great Escape! I stood up and quietly walked into the bedroom. Sitting looking at me was the crazy screechy dog from next door, smiling and cheerful.

I took it back home, meeting the neighbours as they were coming over to look for it. I then spent half an hour blocking up the hole under the fence where it had managed to crawl through.

Eventually I had dinner. because of the lunch time Talking Newspaper, it means my lunch is at 4pm so dinner is at 9pm. What a crazy life!

I waved Mirinda off to work this morning then had a day of running around. I had to go over to Fleet about the flat (we exchanged last week and should complete on Friday), which took most of the day.

Back home, after lunch, I took the poodles up to the park where we met a little chocolate cross between a cocker spaniel and a miniature poodle (‘cockerpoodle’ I assume). I spoke the owners for a bit as they wanted to know about our poodles. The puppy was called Polly and Carmen was a tad wary of her. Day-z just wanted me to pick her up as she’s nervous around anything she doesn’t understand…which is just about everything.

I mowed the lawn and managed some study. And that was my day.

Nicktor is coming over tomorrow night (first time in ages because of his Grand Tour) and has an enlarged hand because of an insect bite. I am calling it the ‘freak monster hand’.

There’s a lot of it about today. It is with some horror I realise that I am so acclimatised that this is nowhere near as bad as Sydney was when I lived there. Long nights lying atop the bedclothes, sweat constantly dripping from me. No, it’s not that bad here. However, it is still bad. Particularly on days like today when there’s the occasional cloud cover.

Being a Wednesday I journeyed into London for lunch with Mirinda. As I had some essential summer supplies with me, the plan was that I would go to the flat then walk to the office. Then, as I was about to leave the flat, my phone rang. The office had been plunged into the dark ages, the electricity having been somehow disconnected. We decided to meet at the flat and find somewhere nearby for lunch.

We ended up at Eat, not far from the flat, and then started walking up to Holborn. Gray’s Inn was lovely. An iron railing full of hollyhocks, all out and welcoming the summer sun, people sitting on the grass of what once may have been a jousting ground, a big marquee, advertising al fresco lunches (the Marquee in the Parkee, as I called it). It all looks so lovely and inviting in the summer.

Almost at Holborn, Mirinda decided she was feeling a bit ill so we walked back to the flat, where she would work for the rest of the day. Ideal, I said, mentioning the fact that the pool was just down the stairs and there may be a nice breeze on the roof terrace.

She’s off to the Barbican tonight to see a dance thing with Sarah from work, so I suggested she take it easy. The flat is very hot, though the fan I bought her yesterday should alleviate that a bit.

Being at the flat meant I could catch a bus back to Waterloo – always preferable to the Tube in summer – and I was soon on a train, putting gently through the Surrey countryside, the sun at bay behind the chill of the air conditioning that I just knew I’d regret once I arrived at Farnham.

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I spent the late afternoon pottering around the garden. I planted some pretty yellow flowers called Lady’s Slippers, I think and cut back another one which bled white gunk all over me. Naturally I watered everything.

As I watered, Carmen lay on the patio, watching intently. She isn’t that bothered by the hose while Day-z is intrigued and will often stick her nose into plants as I’m watering them.

Anyway, I was happily watering the beds near the back door when suddenly a sizeable frog jumped out of the bed and landed about four inches from Carmen’s nose. They both stared at each other for a bit, the frog blinking, Carmen’s head on one side, until Carmen put her paw out to see if it was real.

The frog jumped away from her, towards the bigger bed and Carmen was up and chasing, her tail wagging like an outboard motor on full throttle. She chased it up to the fence before I could grab her. Naturally, Day-z wanted to know what was going on so she joined in the frog chase as well.

I’m pretty sure it managed to escape though I did have to keep telling Carmen off for trampling the cosmos we planted last weekend!

It was jolly warm today. Shorts and t-shirt, straw hat and sunnies. That’s me. I’m feeling a lot better today so I assume the sun has burnt off whatever was ailing me.

I spent most of the day composing a user survey for my dissertation. It needed quite a bit of chopping and changing but I finally managed to finish it and sent it off to few people as a test run. I then realised I’d sent the wrong URL and had to send off another email with the correct one. Idiot I am!

Other than that I was mowing the lawn and preparing Moroccan meatballs for Nicktor and me tonight. Naturally I took the poodles up the park but it was so hot they were quite happy to get back home again so they could lie in the shade under the trees in the garden.

Speaking of the garden, I figured, after all the talk about our Green Cone, I really ought to put up a photo of the finished product. Because I sat down, the poodles just had to get in on the action!

Our Green Cone - note that a third of it is under the ground!

I have had all my results from last semester now (they have been a bit late because of exams) and I’m quite happy with my results. Now it’s just the dissertation…

I’m still not feeling 100% and, consequently, I had another granny nap this afternoon. I’m not sure what the matter is but I get all lethargic, my head starts to ache and my nose starts to run. A summer cold, as my mum says, is what it probably is.

Anyway, before hitting the pillows, I planted the white sweet peas in the hot border and managed some dissertation work. For lunch I watched Portugal’s annihilation of North Korea (7-0) which was all in the second half. The North Korean team was holding its own and being threatening for the first 45 minutes but the Portuguese were given one hell of a team talk during the break, came back out and couldn’t stop scoring. A highlight was Ronaldo, showboating as usual and failing miserably.

After lunch we went up to the park for a walk. The fair is in town and Carmen was very interested in what was going on with the Dodgems. She stood and stared, alert and excited. I have no idea why. She’s seen stranger things as well as the fair last time! Maybe she has happy memories of last year. Day-z, of course, took no notice at all.

A woman, who I’d swear I’d never seen before, stopped to talk as her dogs sniffed around the nervous poodles. She said she didn’t know I had dogs. She said it in a way you’d expect someone who sees you every day to speak. She fussed over the girls and was amazed they were poodles. She wasn’t mad so I assume she’d mistaken me for some other scruff in a straw hat.

Back at home I crashed out with the poodles for company. Two hours later I felt a lot better and went into the garden with my coffee, the radio and dig bag and I completed the hole for the green cone. It was hot and sweaty work but I felt a lot better having finished it. After dinner I intentionally left a few bits of cabbage, just so I could christen it.

I’m presently watching Spain v Honduras. Spain are playing better than their last game but they still don’t look like world champions. Mind you, no-one else really does either. They are passing crisp and well and creating lots of chances but, coming up to half time, have not dominated as much as they should. They are also playing a bit dirty, faking fouls, elbowing off the ball, etc, which I really don’t like. Still, when they duck and weave and race down the pitch, it’s glorious. And the goal they scored was absolutely brilliant.

Carmen excited by the dodgems while Day-z looks in completely the wrong direction

The poodles woke me at 6am, damn them! This meant that by 4pm I was ready for bed. I was also not feeling too well so that may have had something to do with it.

We had a day at home today; a bit of gardening, some study, some sleep. The weather wasn’t too hot and the clouds kept hiding the sun. I planted the remaining snapdragons then started digging the hole for the green cone while Mirinda pottered about between reading articles for her degree.

At about 3 we popped up to the garden centre for some sweet peas. WE FOUND SOME! Yay, finally we can see them growing up the obelisks. We also bought a few other plants and a couple of strange tools that Mirinda insists we need.

I gradually felt worse as we approached home so I went to bed while Mirinda took the poodles up to Frensham. I was asleep about four minutes before I closed my eyes and put my head on the pillow.

I woke at 6:30 feeling a lot better, though the cough is still driving me mad. Tonight we watched Midsomer Murders, which is always a cack. A bonus in this episode as Cally was in it!

I really like the idea of recycling. Use something then, rather than discard the leftovers, turn them into something else. It’s the way things should be. Of course with glass, paper and cans, the council are quite happy to take them away for me as long as I separate them into their particular bins. We have alternate collections – this week recycling, next week general refuse – and it works fine for us. Although big families, apparently, have problems with it.

Veg, some fruit and garden waste goes onto the compost heap down the back of the garden to slowly turn into nutrient rich dirt to be used, eventually, on and in the garden. There is also a stick pile down there for things that take too long to break down. While this isn’t really recycling, it does provide a home for small mammals and insects. I’m pretty sure there’s a hedgehog living in the stick pile and perhaps a pixie or two.

Cardboard is a bit of a problem. Our council does not recycle it from the front of the house. They have big bins in car parks dotted around the borough but that’s not particularly easy when you don’t drive. So I burn the cardboard and the ashes are mixed into the compost heap when the bin fills up enough. This adds more nutrients to the mix although I put my hands up to a small amount of carbon being released into the air when burning it.

My problem has been cooked food. What do I do with it? I can’t put it on the compost or it would smell and attract all sorts of creatures including rats. So I have to throw it in the normal rubbish. Not that we have a lot of leftover food! And then I read about the Green Cone. It’s available all over the world (almost) and you can read about it here.

What a marvellous invention. By a very simple process it uses natural bacteria to break down virtually any food stuff into a liquid nutrient which is distributed into the ground which in turn is used by any plants lucky enough to be growing in the vicinity. The Green Cone will take any cooked veg, meat, fish or fruit, bones, animal droppings, the lot. Fantastic! I had to have one.

It took a while but I eventually bought one online this week and it was delivered today. It is MASSIVE. The box it came in was even bigger. I had to build it (not difficult) and now have to dig a very big hole for the basket to sit in but I’m very happy with it. I would have dug the hole today as well but I think I need to confer with Mirinda first.

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For our walk today, the poodles and I went right up to the top of the park and cut across, through a small wood and over a burbling stream. It was glorious. The final hill we went up reminded me of the opening sequence to Little House on the Prairie. I took this photo of Carmen at point, where she prefers to be, guiding us on. It was a lovely day.

Carmen as scout, making sure the way ahead is safe

What a miserable day we’ve had. One of those drizzle days when the rain doesn’t quite rain but everything is wet and sticky from the humidity. Even the poodles are miserable. Still, I managed to stay dry, which is a bonus.

Another bonus is that Nicktor’s gout has almost gone. He was amazed when I told him one minute it would hurt and then, suddenly, as if by magic, it would be fine again. And then it happened. He was amazed he could walk once more. He was most pleased because he can come over next week for a Nicktor night.

I have been busy writing test scripts and tidying the house as we have visitors coming over on Saturday. Susanne and Rafi are coming for lunch. Apparently, Rafi can’t wait. He’s even picked out the movie we’re going to not watch.

I find, with my dissertation now under way, that Thursday has become my housework day. Not the minor things like washing but the big dust and sweep jobs. And we get a lot of dust! I assume it has something to do with the poodles. They may not shed hair but they cause a lot of dirt to traverse the house!

I particularly like cleaning the lounge because I can put the SoundBridge on and blast the street with either opera or musical comedy or, like today, some 1970s glam rock. David Bowie is still warbling from the speakers as I type…

Ch-ch-ch-changes,
(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock ‘n rollers…

I’m sitting typing at the dining table and it reminds me yet again that I MUST get some speakers for the dining room. It’s only because the house is so small that I can hear the music in the other room. Of course it is regularly punctuated with rain drops.

Oh, you pretty things (oh, you pretty things)
Don’t you know you’re driving your
Mamas and papas insane…

David Bowie always reminds me of how I first started in theatre. I was at a party in Cammeray when I was 19. At some stage during the party someone put Life on Mars on the turntable (I assume it was a turntable but I guess it could have been a cassette). This was, at the time, my favourite song. I sang it with gusto.

After I’d finished, aglow in the final high note, I was approached by Wim (who lived in the house where the party was and where I had just taken over a room from a lesbian who had left) who, glassy eyed asked if I’d ever been in musicals. To be fair, I had no idea what a musical was. Obviously I said no. He then explained that he was choreographing The Boyfriend and one of the males had dropped out. He claimed, with my voice, I’d have no problem handling the part. He could teach me the choreography so I could catch up.

I was drunk, I was happy, I was easily swayed. I said “Sure, why not” and that was me hooked. Theatre had me in it’s talons for a very long time. While I preferred straight theatre, I have never forgotten the fun that musical comedy can be. I guess that explains why I still like them. I quite like singing as well…

At the moment, I’m looking out the study window and the sun is bathing the back garden in early evening rays and the sky is blue with a few fluffy clouds. It hasn’t been like that all day, however. Since 8 this morning, 3mm of rain has fallen in the garden. There’s been lots of intermittent showers. The sort that waits for me to go outside before pouring down. I feel like The Rain God from Hitch-hikers!

I talked to mum and dad on the phone and it started, lightly. Tiny drops barely wetting the ground. And then it stopped. After talking for about an hour I readied myself and set out to Farnham for the shopping. Fortunately I wore my raincoat. Halfway along the path, it fell. Sheets of light rain streaming in at an angle. By the time I arrived at castle Street I was nice and wet…and it stopped.

I had my Starbucks and popped into Waitrose as the sun shone from between bruised clouds. I then wandered down to Smith’s so I could buy a wedding acceptance for Stevie & Lara’s wedding. Shopping done and decidedly non-waterproof bag full, I started back for home.

As I reached the park the rain started again. Needless to say my raincoat had dried out. My shopping bag quickly soaked up enough water to double its weight as I walked, stopping under occasional trees that served as leaky umbrellas and brief respites from the drenching.

As I reached the top of our street, the rain stopped and the sun burst out. As usual, the poodles had been standing outside and were subsequently as wet as my shopping. Fortunately yesterdays haircuts meant they dried in about 10 minutes.

I then sat and worked on a report for Mirinda and some stuff for my dissertation. The weather seemed unsettled but the rain held off. At 2pm I took the poodles to the vet. Halfway along the alley the rain started again. And I was wet again.

After the vet I took them for a run in the park just in time for the skies to clear and for the sun to beam down as if it had never been gone. And the afternoon continued like this, the rain not returning. I’m sure the garden enjoyed it. I know I didn’t.

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There shall be no Nicktor night this week as he has suddenly developed gout! Poor sod. I have given him the advice that I am more than qualified to give and he is presently lying, prostrate on his lounge, foot up and unfettered as he drinks gallons of water. Bet he’s driving Dawn insane.

I had an email back from Nero today. This is it:

Hello Gary

Justina Virdee
Head of Customer Services
Caffe Nero Group Ltd

Of course, I’ll not be taking her up on the vouchers. As I said in my email, it’s not what I want. It’s nice to know they seem to take bad service so seriously though.

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Today I started my dissertation, my proposal having been approved. It’s now a long, hard slog towards September. For a break I mowed the lawn and did some gardening. Also the poodles had a haircut and look and smell lovely now.