The House Husband

with occasional entries by The Dean

This Saturday feels like a weekday

Mirinda is very ill at the moment. So ill, she hasn’t come home from the flat. Believe me when I say, THAT is pretty ill. We thought she’d be home this afternoon but she has slipped back downhill and will probably stay in bed. Meanwhile I am holding the fort. Well, if you can describe a dolls house with two miniature poodles a fort.

First thing this morning saw the replanting of the sink into the bathroom top. It was a bit of a struggle (the access for the pipe is somewhat limited and my hand somewhat too big) and I had to have two goes at it (the first time I cross threaded it and when I turned the tap on, drenched everything) but it was eventually complete.

Given I’m such a lousy plumber I tend to be very careful and somewhat over-zealous but I always recall the advice Cowboy gave me all those years ago. I therefore remembered to use plumber’s tape to seal the thread, something the person who originally built the bathroom seems to have ignored. In fact, the thread was covered in silicone sealant instead! This would explain why it was so difficult to get off in the first place.

Sadly I didn’t take a ‘before’ photo of the top. it was looking a bit sad. The varnish had chipped off all over the place and the wood was all but bare. Anyway, here’s how it looks now.

Bathroom top after a bit of renovation

After struggling with the sink, I set to cleaning the bathroom, finding bits of wood dust everywhere. I’m happy to report that it now looks like a new bathroom. Well, the top anyway. Mirinda helpfully suggested I should now paint the entire room. To be fair, it wouldn’t hurt.

After lunch and walk up the park which saw two FSIs (one each) and a consequential bath, I decided to spend some time in the garden in preparation for a visit from Ben, Monali, Imogen and Saffron. This was planned for tomorrow. A day in the country, pub, walk, cricket and swings (the latter for Imogen). Everyone was looking forward to it. Sadly, due to emergency quarantine restrictions, we had to cancel.

As reported earlier, I’m delighted with the progress of my hand sown borage. It continues to thrive. I think the pixies must be looking after the plants. I’m pretty sure they use the flowers for hats and the leaves in their tea so it’s seriously in their own interests for them to grow well and fruitful.

I can now report that the first flower has emerged! It looks a bit lonely but, given the amount of buds on the other plants, I reckon there’ll be a more solid covering of blooms soon.

Our first borage flower

Speaking of dogs…which I wasn’t really but figured it was as good a change of subject as any…Carmen spent most of my garden time near me, chewing on a ham bone – between the occasional growl at her sister if she came within twenty yards of her.

The bone is all that remains of two ginormous ham bones I gave them Friday morning. They were bigger than their heads and I’m amazed Day-z could pick hers up. Carmen, of course, started eating hers in her bed so had no need for carrying. Day-z, however, took hers out of my hand and stressed her neck muscles getting it outside.

Before returning home last night, I suggested to Mirinda that Day-z would have eventually claimed them both. After the usual leaping and licking at my arrival home, Day-z quickly disappeared around the side of the house. I followed her and, sure enough, there were both the bones. I like to think that hopefully Carmen managed to eat a bit of one of them before it was stolen.

A little later, after posting last night’s blog post, I started to go downstairs. Sometimes the dogs go mad and start jumping up and down at me, threatening to push me down the stairs. This is their way of saying they want a wrestle. I sat on the top step and complied.

Wrestling usually means playing with them with one hand each while they bounce back and forth. Carmen, however, had a cunning plan. After distracting both Day-z and me, she dashed downstairs without a backward glance. I just played with Day-z for a bit and then continued going downstairs. Just outside the back door, under the herb table, arse in the air, was Carmen, chewing eagerly on the retrieved bone.

Day-z did not look amused when she realised what had happened and how easily she’d been tricked. She approached but quickly backed off when the growls started. I showed Day-z the other bone but, of course, she wanted the one her sister had.

And now, there is only one left. I have no idea what they have done with the other. I’ve searched but can’t find it. The one Carmen was chewing is all but gone, covered with flies when she leaves it for a second. I’m sure the mower will find the other one eventually.

Small bloom on the fuchsia we thought was dead

As it turned out, Mirinda came home at about 8:30. She was feeling slightly better. I read her a couple of peculiar fairy stories and she slipped off to sleep.

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Too posh to pee

Being snowed out of Farnham I decided to spend the weekend in London rather than put my life in the hands of south west trains in trying to get home and back again. I have always wanted to have a look around Mayfair – being only one of two areas Eve says she could live in in the uk – so I decided to spend the morning exploring New Bond Street and round about. The mansion flat buildings are lovely and no doubt house stately and enormous apartments. But New Bond Street was remarkably unappealing – lots of very expensive shops full of diamonds and designers in which they deliberately try and intimidate the customer by having wanky looking doormen. Over half the shops were shut – despite being a Saturday – and those that were open were distinctly unwelcoming and uninteresting. It struck me as a place purely about demonstrating boring wealth – no heart. Flat and dead. Not at all what I was expecting – nothing that made me long to buy it (apart from a passionfruit fondant but I was unable to attract the shopgirls’s attention).

It has of course been incredibly cold and there was an uncanny lack of toilets. Bond Street station had several signs aggressively announcing “No Toilets. Nearest at Marble Arch.” (several streets away). Even Starbucks didn’t have one! I thought that was illegal!

I traversed Burlington Arcade and couldn’t help but note that though there were at least 100 people in the arcade I didn’t see a single person actually enter a shop. I studied one of these customer deprived enterprises with interest. It sold luggage – all shiny and new but in an old fashioned design of hard bags with straps – no wheels, no extendable handles. I then studied the Burly boy guarding the entrance – top hat-ed and tailed, and black. What a ridiculous, artificial and vaguely offensive nostalgia is being pickled here.

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The end

The final day of 2009 was grim, grey and chilly. We’re hoping for some sunshine tomorrow.

I watched the Sydney fireworks this afternoon. It’s the only thing that makes me homesick. Always brings a tear to my eye.

Anyway, this is going to be a very short entry. I have been struck down with Mirinda’s accursed bug and feel lousy. Mirinda is still not 100% so we’re off to bed well before the midnight hour. As Mirinda just said “This has to be our worst Christmas break ever!” and I couldn’t agree more. To make up for it we organised a trip to Paris for next weekend. That’ll show those lousy bugs!

Happy New Year anybody
xx

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