The House Husband

with occasional entries by The Dean

Green man and French horn

It was an odd game of football last night. There were long periods where Aldershot completely dominated the game with good crisp passing and a goal. Lincoln City were left looking stunned as we went to a 2-0 lead. But then we went to sleep in the second half and started the stupid big kicks up field which never work. They quickly scored twice, catching our defence out both times and making us look like waxwork dummies.

The final ten minutes were all spent desperately keeping them from scoring a third. Fortunately we did and the game ended in a draw. The highlights of the game (apart from our goals) were the Lincoln City goal keeper who never stopped shouting but could never be understood and the player who came on late in the second half called Moustafa Carry-on. I’m sure it’s not spelled that way but it definitely sounded like it. It brought general mirth and merriment to an otherwise sullen Slab.

Back at home, we watched a brilliant British film called This is England. While the subject matter sounds rather dark and unpleasant (England in the 80s with skinheads and racism rife) the film is not. While there is a lot of implied violence and one of the characters is not in the least pleasant, it is a wonderful coming of age story of a young lad growing up without a father, looking for a substitute and needing to belong.

There was not a weak performance in the entire film and we both enjoyed it thoroughly. If you can get passed the swearing (which, to be fair, is of the time), this is a wonderful film. I saw the writer/director, Shane Meadows, interviewed on Breakfast when it was released and he went to great pains to say how autobiographical it was. It shows. His deft hand gives us a glimpse of an unpleasant world while making us care about the main characters.

At the end of the film I wanted more; I wanted to know what else happened to the main character to shape such a wonderful film maker. Thomas Turgoose, as the 12 year old Shaun, is superb.

Of course, we also drank too much whisky and went to bed far too late but it was worth it. Normally we see pretty crappy films so this was an unexpected gem. And then I was up at 7 to wake Mirinda for work.

Fast forward to lunchtime and we had Italian today, again at Covent Garden, this time in Ponti’s. During our stroll around the small lanes we came across this rather interesting pub sign – sadly the pub was boarded up.

Pub sign, London

We also spotted a rather lovely building in Leicester Square. It looked rather odd, being so ornate but the colour scheme was lovely and these heads nicely incongruous.

Forget the deer, let's put human heads on the wall

As usual, we spent a lovely lunch hour (and a half) and, after we parted I high tailed it back down to Waterloo. I was going to visit Dr Johnson’s house afterwards but I’m going for a drink with Stevie tonight and needed to get home to feed the poodles. I figured Dr J could wait.

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Dead thespians

As Mirinda has now returned to work, so I have returned to our Wednesday lunch dates. Due to the timing of a couple of meetings, we had to squeeze in between them. Fortunately this was around lunch time.

I sat and waited in the bright and airy lobby of her new employer. A security guard asked me if I was OK at one point but otherwise I remained unmolested. Finally my smiling wife appeared, refusing to kiss me hello on the premises while I insisted on wearing my hat. This was remedied as soon as we walked outside. This is even though she doesn’t really know anyone yet!

We decided to have a wander around Covent Garden. Every time I visit, I think of dad as a boy and how different it is now. Forget the fruit and veg! All tourists and funky shops. Here’s a photo I took (it was a rather gloomy day so it’s not the clearest shot). I’ve also made it sepia for easy comparison.

Covent Garden 2011

And here’s a postcard I found on the web showing Covent Garden (on a different angle but you can see the same roofs) in the early 1900s.

Covent Garden 1900s

Looks a bit different now! That’s Mirinda in her new coat, by the way. Not that you can see her very clearly.

Anyway, while we were there, we popped into St Paul’s church, which is where all the actors go to pray…apparently. This is according to an ancient chap who decided to tell us who was remembered in the church. Not buried, just remembered. There are plaques everywhere with all sorts of famous names.

The church is an Inigo Jones design, originally completed in 1633. In 1795 there was a huge fire which destroyed most of it and it was restored to Jones’ original designs. It was further restored in 1872.

The reason why it’s become the Actor’s Church is because of the building of the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane which isn’t very far away and was built around the same time. I guess they’d pop over before a Sunday matinee and ask for a good show. A further link lies with Samuel Pepys, who noted in his diary entry of 9 May 1662 that he watched an ‘Italian puppet play’ under the portico of St Paul’s. This was one of the first performances of what turned into Punch and Judy, apparently. it also explains why the pub in Covent Garden is called The Punch and Judy.

Anyway, it’s become the thing to be remembered in St Pauls if you’re an actor. Ellen Terry’s ashes are there as are those of Dame Edith Evans. Here’s some of the plaques.

Plaques in St Paul's, Covent Garden

According to our knowledgeable friend, Charlie Chaplin’s plaque was originally refused entry into the Anglican church seeing as he was Jewish. The old chap also thought it was because of his preference for rather young girls. I don’t know. I didn’t even know he was Jewish. I do know he was bought up in Elephant and Castle as I’ve had a drink at his pub.

We managed to escape from the old chap who seemed to view history as a long line of connected people, and had a lovely sushi lunch in Itsu. I really love the sushi at Itsu. It also means I don’t need a big dinner.

We slowly walked back to Mirinda’s work and parted (she kissed me well away from the front door). I had thought I’d go and check out the London Transport Museum but the day was so miserable I decided to just walk down to Waterloo and go home. The poodles were quite happy about that as it meant a late walk.

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Heather to harbour

We spent a delightful Sunday this week. We had already planned for Mirinda to spend the night at the flat because of her first week at the new job, which included a conference which, while being the low point at the end, we decided to make as pleasant as possible.

After the usual trip into Farnham for lunch and other requirements as well as a Bob report on Claire’s latest progress, we set off for Hankley Common for a walk with the poodles.

It really is one of our favourite places. Apart from the beauty of the heathland, it is generally pretty much deserted and, on a fine day, glorious in the sunshine. And the day was beautifully blue. Hankley was as lovely as ever.

Hankley Common

The amazing thing is that, even though the heather is wearing its drab winter foliage, it’s still beautiful. It also helps mask the burnt bits by blending in perfectly.

True to form, there were only isolated pockets of dog walkers and walkers and a couple of girls on horses as we walked our usual route. It is so delightfully quiet – possibly one of the only places in Surrey where this happens with such regularity!

Back home, we had lunch and watched a few delightful episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm (we love Larry) before getting ready to head into town.

I was amazed that, for the first time in I don’t how long, the Jubilee Line was running a normal service on a Sunday. It would be a first for me. And then, it happened. A train or two broke down at London Bridge and the entire line was struck dumb. By the time we reached the barriers, it was suffering ‘severe delays’. We made a quick considered decision to donate a couple of fairs to Transport for London via our Oyster cards and headed back out and down to the ferry instead.

Of course, the sun was nearly down and the South Bank was as crowded as ever. The wheel looked lovely in the dying rays with a few contrails seeming to cut through it. I couldn’t resist taking a picture.

London Eye at sunset

The ferry ride was far more enjoyable than a sucky old tube train! Well, if you ignore the less than tepid coffee. According to Mirinda this is not generally the case so I can only blame the girl behind the bar. But, you can overlook such awful things when the view is so wonderful as the ferry chugs along the Thames. As we moved under Tower Bridge, all the tourists leapt forward to get photographs. It’s a lovely bridge, even with the scaffolding under it – I think they’re painting it.

We left the ferry at Canary Wharf and walked up to Waitrose so Mirinda could do her week’s shopping. On the way I stopped to get a photo of the tall illuminated buildings and their reflections in the water.

Canary Wharf on a Sunday night

Shopping at Waitrose in Farnham on a Sunday, means getting it all done by 4pm. I always thought it was a law that big shops had to close at 4pm. If this is the case, it clearly does not apply to Waitrose in Canary Wharf! Not only is it open till 6pm, it is also crowded with shoppers! In fact, the whole mall of shops below Canary Wharf was buzzing with activity. It could have been any day at any time. It felt alive. Like New York feels alive. Wonderful.

We dropped the shopping at the flat then, after settin’ a spell, we wandered down to Cafe Rouge for dinner. It was my choice and I fancied the duck. It was, as usual, delicious. Mirinda wondered what happened to the rest of the duck as Cafe Rouge only serve up a leg and thigh. I reckon they attach aluminium legs to the bodies and have Robot Duck Wars in the abattoir.

We also noticed they were offering a syllabub as a special dessert. Now, I make syllabub every now and then and it’s not normally available at restaurants (not that we’ve seen, anyway) so we thought we’d try it. We both wished we hadn’t. My tummy was still complaining by the time I made it home.

Anyway, we said our goodbyes outside the Tube station and, while Mirinda returned to her flat, I made my way back to Waterloo. Surprisingly, I made the train by about a minute. Talk about lucky.

After a long, lonely ride and chilly walk home, I managed to calm the poodles down before ringing Mirinda to say good night. What a lovely day…apart from leaving Mirinda in town, of course.

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The pineapple of politeness

On Friday after work, I met Mirinda and we went and saw The Rivals at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket. It’s a famous comedy, written by Richard Brinsley Sheridan and first produced in 1775. It’s first performance was at the Theatre Royal, Convent Garden, so not so very far away from it’s present run.

We’ve seen the play performed before but wanted to see this production because firstly, it was directed by legendary Peter Hall, and, secondly, Penelope Keith is playing the delightful Mrs Malaprop and Peter Bowles, a marvellous Sir Anthony Absolute. It was all very, very good. And a delight from start to finish.

But before we arrived at the theatre, Mirinda had a coffee with a Tasmanian who works for the agency responsible for her new placement. While waiting, I wandered around Oxford Circus as the sun slowly set and the crowds grew thicker. Honestly, some of them had no IQ at all!

Given I’m not in this part of town except when forced, I popped down to Carnaby Street for a bit of a squizz. I then had a pint in the packed Argyle Arms (a lovely Victorian pub in all respects apart from the crowds) and a wander around HMV before settling down for a coffee at Costa’s, where I received a text from Mirinda to say she was outside Liberty’s, which she wasn’t.

Entrance to Carnaby Street, London

From Liberty’s we wandered down to Haymarket, passing through the horrendous Piccadilly Circus, heavingly full of the Friday night crowd. We decided to take tea at the Italian place right next door to the theatre, followed by a taking of the air wander down King Charles Street – which ties in nicely with the book I’m reading at the moment concerning Charles II and the Restoration of the monarchy – the first ten years.

The theatre is lovely, as most Theatre Royals tend to be. Our tickets were dead centre, about eight rows back. We arrived with two minutes to spare and forced everyone to stand up so we could get to our seats. Rather nice to be the annoying ones for a change.

The play was great. Lots of laughs and some fine acting. Penelope was wonderful though a tad bit likeable for Mrs Malaprop which meant the final bit of slagging off didn’t quite go down as it ought. Peter was wonderful. The last time we saw him was in a production of Deathtrap and he forgot his lines a few times through it. I was worried because of this but need not have bothered for he was excellent.

The rest of the cast was very good, particularly Lydia Lanquish (played by Robyn Addison) in her first professional role. There were two other well known faces from television as well. Keiron Self, the other dentist in My Family played Bob Acres very well and Tony Gardner, the guy who owns the cafe in Lead Balloon was an appropriately dour Faulkland.

All in all, a wonderful production and great fun.

Afterwards we had a lovely stroll back to Waterloo and caught a late train back home to the delight of a couple of manic poodles.

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The Harrods Sale?

Hankley looked absolutely beautiful today. We took the poodles out for an early walk as we are off to see Susanne and Rafi for an early evening dinner and visit. We saw a surprisingly large amount of people. We don’t normally go as early so it could be that but it could also be the weather. Today was a perfect winter day. All blue sky and sunshine and nice and cold.

Hankley Common looking gorgeous


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After lunch, we drove Sidney up to the station and caught the train into town. We then hopped a few Tube trains to Susanne’s place. She lives opposite Harrod’s. Well, almost opposite Harrod’s.

We had a lovely visit. Rafi and I made up The Balloon Game, which he, naturally, won although I did manage to get a few points even with his continual rule amendments. It was all pretty exhausting, I have to admit. And not easy on a full stomach. His energy knows no limit.

Meanwhile, Mirinda and Susanne had a good, long chat about various things including Susanne’s contention that we shouldn’t leave Farnham for Epsom (or anywhere else) as we are perfectly suited to Farnham. This is a view shared by Dawn as well. And me. Still, we see the architect on Tuesday and we shall see what he says.

After dinner, during the balloon game, we managed to see a little bit of Kung Fu Panda, which seemed quite silly and not a patch on Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, a fact that Rafi kept mentioning. Whenever I laughed at something he’d ask if it was as funny as the meatballs movie. I assured him it wasn’t. Every time.

Rafi explains the finer points of The Balloon Game to me

We left quite late and, as we strolled passed Harrods, I noticed the signs in the window proclaiming there was only one sale. This was rather odd as all the shops around Harrods also had sales on. Clearly the management of Harrods are stupid or just can’t read.

We didn’t get home until 11pm and Sidney was so frozen the key wouldn’t go into the lock on Mirinda’s side. It was a bit frightening as the temperature was below freezing and we didn’t fancy walking home. However, Aunt Vera came to the rescue and freed up my side of the car. We sat with the heater going for a good ten minutes before we drove the five minutes home.

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The Removalist

What a day. I feel like I’ve spent most of it travelling. I guess I did.

I’d planned to go up to town today and pack up Mirinda’s personal things from her office (in preparation for her leaving). I figured I’d just need a small bag. Fortunately Mirinda straightened me out on that.

I had to go to the flat first because our big wheelie bag was sitting there, taking up carpet space. So, train to Waterloo, Tube to Canary Wharf. All well and good. I went to the flat, collected the bag (and the piles of junk mail) and took off to Holborn.

While happily sat on the DLR, an announcement pretty much ruined my day. The Central line was a mess because of an ‘earlier incident’ and was suffering huge delays. This was the line I’d have to change to at Bank. I took a deep breath and decided to walk.

Thank Bernard D Sadow & Robert Plath, I had a wheelie bag, that’s all I can say. It’s quite a hike from Bank to Holborn, particularly when the weather’s a bit dodgy. But I managed it.

Packing the case didn’t take very long though I was a bit surprised at the size of the precious vase – for some reason I thought it was a lot smaller. Fortunately, Mirinda keeps an entire wardrobe at work, so it was an easy job packing round the vase to ensure a safe journey. I am still amazed at the quantity of shoes in the filing cabinet.

Having filled the bag, I put the black brief case over my shoulder and the stupid cowboy hat on my head, and headed out to hail a cab. Quite apart from the problems on the Central line, I didn’t fancy vying with commuters for every inch of space. And it was a nice, leisurely cab ride with a driver who actually knew the road where the flat is. In the past, I’ve had to direct them.

I then unpacked everything, being very careful with the vase; arranging the shoes along one wall of the bedroom. There really were a lot of shoes. I sometimes think my wife wants to be Imelda Marcos. I then popped down the Spa for some milk. I had to bring the suitcase home with me so I had decided to wait a bit later in order to avoid the rush hour.

I needn’t have bothered. The Canary Wharf Jubilee line is still packed at 7pm and the 7:30 train I was going to catch home was full to the extent that people were standing in the aisle! This used to happen on the slam door trains a lot but I don’t think I’ve seen it on the 444s. Well, before this one, that is.

I decided to miss the 7:30 and catch the 8pm, which was far more pleasant. I discovered that a train to Surbiton had been cancelled so, some genius at Waterloo had decided to attach an extra carriage to the 7:30 and add a stop at Surbiton. A whole train into an extra carriage. You do the math.

Getting home was a relief, even though it was later than I’d expected. The poodles had been waiting in the rain (why do they do that?) and were, of course, ecstatic I’d returned to them.

This marked my first time at the flat in the dark. The night skyline is great. So I snapped a photo, resting it on the balcony rail to keep it steady. it sort of worked.

View from the Canary Wharf flat

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Bagpipes on the Underground

OK, so I’ve not had a rant for a bit so I’m going to today…however, before I do, here’s a photo of Lynden at Waterloo after our night of gassing and drinking. He never changes. Gotta love him.

Saying goodbye to Lynden at Waterloo

Don’t get me wrong, I actually quite like the bagpipes. I remember the year we were digging at the Minge when a lady would serenade us each lunchtime as she practised among the hills surrounding the dig. Apparently her neighbours weren’t too keen on her doing it at home.

The outdoor setting, though, was perfect. The tortured cat screechings became at once lovely calls across the glens; a melancholic recitation for some distance Scot, marooned in another country. Or so it seemed, as we all sat around in our archaeological detritus.

Also I started to learn to play them myself many years ago. My reasoning has vanished in the mists of time but I managed quite a few lessons and even had a chanter for a while – this is the instrument you first learn on, before being given the big bag to manipulate under your arm. It is also the bit of the bagpipes you blow into.

I learnt all about grace notes and reeds and all sorts of musical things. Naturally it was a complete waste of time because, typically, I didn’t finish, moving on to something else and keeping only the chanter, which travelled from house to house with me until, somewhere along the line, I lost it. Or deliberately forgot it like my John Bonham drumstick.

To be honest, I can’t actually think of a musical instrument that I actively dislike. Played well and in the right place, I think they all have their good points; a bit like music and singing and dance.

I like most types of music and pride myself on being incredibly eclectic – if such a thing is grammatically correct (I mean, being eclectic means you like a wide variety so adding the word ‘incredibly’ doesn’t seem to add an awful lot to the term apart from exaggeration). I even like some Gregorian chanting. I have no idea what they are saying, nor do I care but I like the cadences, the rhythm, the strict choral qualities.

If I think about this sort of thing (chanting as opposed to chanters) I wonder about the sense of it all. When someone like Kylie sings “I can’t get you out of head” she doesn’t mean that someone or something is actually living in her head but the memory of someone is haunting her and she wants to tell everyone who’ll listen. When the Gregorians chant something in Russian or Latin or whatever language they prefer, it means very little but just sounds good.

The fact that I can’t understand the chanting means I am merely enjoying the sound. If I didn’t understand Kylie, I could still dance to the music. The rhythm of the music and the tonal qualities of her voice are received by my body because, as humans, we have created music which we actually enjoy listening to. We can wrap the feeling into all sorts of silly things but, basically, we invented it to be pleasurable because it is pleasurable to listen to.

Like prayer. It does nothing but makes some people feel better when they do it. For instance, let’s say you are feeling a bit giddy with happiness but wish to come back to earth. What better way to do it than sitting in a dark church and mumbling some nonsense over and over again. It won’t take long and eventually you will convince yourself that it’s doing something. Of course it is. But only to the person doing it.

Which brings me to the title of this entry. Today I went up to town with Lynden after an enjoyable night chatting about old times, old friends and what we’re up to now. I saw Lynden about five years ago so we had a bit of catching up. Lynden was one of the actors from nomad who I was always very close to. We shared many a truck cabin and many a stage. In those trucks and on those stages, the poor fellow often had to hear me rant and rave a lot too. Oh, the glory of friends! He reminds me of the good times we shared in theatre.

Anyway, Lynden was off to see his 900th matinee of his present visit so I decided I’d travel up to Waterloo with him then continue on to the flat and clear the junk mail and make sure the flat was still there.

In London, in the Underground, the buskers are licensed. This tends to mean the quality is quite high. They are generally guitarists, their delicate fingering echoing throughout the subways, bouncing merrily off the tiled walls. It’s pleasant though sometimes a bit loud. Today was the exception.

As I stepped from the escalator my ears were assaulted with the screeching of hundreds of insane cats, all trying to outdo each other. As I approached the next set of escalators, the noise grew in volume, bouncing around the hall. I noticed people with earplugs and wondered how much of their own music they could hear. It was very loud!

At the bottom of the second escalator was a man in a kilt, a hat in front of him with a few odd coins in it. Under his arm was his bagpipe bag, his cheeks puffed out and ruddy inflating it, his fingers diddling the holes in the chanter, making an infernal noise that, like chewing gum, was inescapably stuck to my ears. The sound of the approaching tube train was preferable to this din!

It made me wonder why people feel the need to insist that other people be the same as them, listen to the same thing, talk about the same things, believe the same rubbish, yadda, yadda, yadda. It made me sad that in a world brought so much closer by the Internet and communication technology in general, some people just want to use it to proselytize some sort of Borg conformity without looking at the wider world and realising the appeal of everything is its difference and not its sameness.

Oh dear! I have gone a bit preachy haven’t I! Sorry about that. I promise to return to normal tomorrow. In the meanwhilst (one of my favourite non-words and a dig at people who insist on using ‘whilst’) here’s how the park looked this afternoon when we dashed up for a walk when I arrived home.

Autumn in the park with Gaz

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Oh, what fun

So, someone decided it would be a jolly good jape to leave her laptop charger at the Canary Wharf flat this weekend. The same person who desperately needed it in order to work on her DBA essay.

After a quick, frantic search of all known computer outlets close to home, I decided it was an impossibility to buy a new one within the day (I will order one on the Net tonight) and foolishly offered to retrieve the old one. I figured it would take me a minimum of 3-4 hours.

We checked the Jubilee Line for any engineering work and, gloriously, it was only not working in the opposite direction from Waterloo. Not needing to go to Green Park (where the King lives), I was relieved. A quick trip into Waterloo, switch to the Tube and I’d be there in around 20 minutes. Easy. Oh those famous well laid plans. Why must they get up and run around like headless farm animals?

The trip into Waterloo was fine. I managed to get some work done amid the four carriage din of excited children and excessively loud grown ups and then made my way down to the bowels of the earth to the Jubilee Line. True to their word, the Jubilee Line heading west was not working but, with an air of superiority, I stood at the glass doors waiting for the eastbound train which was due in one minute.
I’d been standing there for five minutes, the crowds thickening around me, when an exasperated announcement fled from the speakers above my head.

Because we couldn’t run a piss-up in a brewery, a train has carked it at London Bridge and we can’t move it. You’ll have to now fend for yourselves. Losers.”

Lots of moans and a few, tourist utterances of disbelief, was all the reply from the passengers around me. I swiftly made a few calculations. Of course, I could have just left the Tube and hopped on a ferry (oh, how I wish I had) but I’d already swiped my Oyster and it would cost me a journey because of their incompetence. Bugger that, I thought as I headed towards the Northern Line.

I had to get to Bank in order to change to the DLR. The only direct train from Waterloo to Bank is the Waterloo and City line (it ONLY goes to Bank) but, as usual, it is shut down all weekend. There was nothing to be done but to go to Tottenham Court Road and switch to the Central Line.

A lot of people had the same idea. We all got to know each other pretty well on the Northern Line train. As did the others that boarded at Embankment. By the time I switched to the Central Line I was sweating profusely as were the people pressing up against me. It wasn’t pleasant. I tried to read but the fug beat me down with its insistent odour.

I couldn’t get to Bank soon enough and then started the very long walk to the DLR. Along platforms throbbing with pleasure-bound people out for a day of Tube riding until I reached the relative calm of the steel platform. A train was just leaving. I looked at the indicator board.

The next two trains were for Stratford. The third to somewhere else I’d never heard of. There was no sign of any trains to Canary Wharf. I spotted a chap in a bright yellow tabard and figured he’d know something. I was right. The DLR was not running between Bank and Canary Wharf today. I asked him if I could go to Stratford then go from Stratford to Canary Wharf, avoiding Bank but he just laughed, cruelly I thought. He then rattled off a sequence of trains and buses that I stopped listening to after the third interchange. I thanked him for his concern and headed for the comparative fresh air of the world outside.

I was standing in a part of London I didn’t recognise. I spotted a map. I had a choice. Walk about two miles to the river and get a ferry or catch the bus that was rapidly coming towards me which said Liverpool Street. Ever the simpleton, I hopped on the bus.

Liverpool Street Station on a Saturday is very crowded. People mill around the entrance and crowd the bus stops. Buses swirl down the street like a dropped gymnast’s ribbon with about as much movement. Across the road, and hopelessly out of reach, was a 135 to Canary Wharf.

The wait wasn’t THAT long, all things considered though I regretted not popping into the pub I was standing outside of for a swift pint. Eventually I boarded the next 135 that appeared among the constant stream of other red buses. It joined the traffic and began its stop start journey to Canary Wharf. I didn’t mind. I had my book (I’m reading Wicked and it’s very different to the musical and seriously not for kids) and the weather was ok. There weren’t many people on the bus. And I had refused to even glance at my watch. I didn’t want to know how long it had taken me so far.

The bus stopped at Canary Wharf Station which gives me two stops before I have to get off. Just as the bus pulled away from the curb the bus-voice lady said:

This bus is now on diversion. Please listen for further announcements.”

I never heard any further announcements as I frantically watched out the window as the bus turned away from where I wanted to go. Naturally I hit the stop button – I wasn’t going any further than I had to. Fortunately, the bus stopped about three blocks from where I normally get off (normally! Ha! I’ve only taken the 135 this way once before!) and I was soon walking briskly towards the flat.

I walked into the flat (having collected the pile of mail clogging up the mailbox) and looked at my watch. It had taken me three hours. I put the kettle on, went to the loo and rang Mirinda. She wasn’t there. I sat and had a lovely cup of almost white coffee (she had only left a mere dribble of milk but then, she’d not exactly anticipated a guest) and went through the mail, disposing of the vast majority of it. I collected the Golden Fleece and, at 4:20, was once more on my way.

Eschewing any sort of land based transport, I set off for the Canary Wharf ferry stop. Not a pleasant walk when you go via the river – I’ll be so glad when they’ve finished building whatever monstrosity they’re building so I can walk by the water. At the pier I was met by a very long queue of Saturday afternoon tourists all asking the same questions and buying the same tickets from the same, single, guy at the window. Eventually the ferry arrived and, having queued for ten minutes, we (the girl in front and me) were told to buy our tickets on the ferry.

The ferry ride, though crowded, was very pleasant. Lucky Mirinda gets this every day, I thought as I drank the revolting lager they serve. There was even a liner docked just passed Tower Bridge which is not something you see every day.

The trip was pleasant and uneventful and eventually dropped me at the London Eye for transfer to Waterloo. I was in time for the 6pm train home. I will get home at about 7:30. Seven hours! The whole trip will have taken seven hours and, counting the car that Mirinda will pick me up in when I get home, eight bits of transport! The things I do for love. I reckon Boris owes me some money on my Oyster card. It took a bit of a beating today.

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Olympic gold

Yesterday the BBC news was all about the new Olympic stadium. It was exactly two years before the opening ceremony so they were looking at how it’s all going. Everyone is cheerful that it is all on schedule. There were lots of different people talking about the mounting excitement. There was a list of dates to remember – when you could sign up to volunteer, when you could enter the ballot for tickets, etc.

There was also a piece on female boxing, which will make an appearance for the first time in London. It’s beyond me why anyone would box let alone women. Still, each to his (or her) own. This thought struck me on the train home this afternoon. not the boxing, but the new events they introduce at the Olympics. I have one for them. I call it First Off The Train or FOTT for short.

The rules of FOTT are simple. It’s all about the strategy. How long to prolong the sitting down before standing in order to be first at the door in the carriage nearest the exit at the station. It’s a question of total points for various stages in the competition.

Some people are really pathetic; they really have no idea. Take this guy today. A total amateur. The train departed Aldershot and this guy immediately stands by the door, his finger already poised above the door open button. It’s six minutes between Aldershot and Farnham! Now, naturally, he’d get points for being the first off the train, say 3 points, but nothing for getting up so early.

Making the scoring as simple as possible, extra points would be awarded for the length of time before the station. So, on a six minute run, there’d be no points for six minutes, 1 for five minutes, 2 for four and so on.

The woman in the silver position performed much better. She waited until the on-board announcement before standing. This is generally about two minutes before arrival. She was closely followed by a steady stream of others. For this perfect positioning, she’d be awarded 4 points for waiting the extra four minutes. Receiving 2 more points for second place, she’d, in fact, win gold with 6 points in total.

Another 4 would go to the third person, giving him or her a total of 5 points and silver. And the loser who stood up for six minutes, tapping nervously away at the door release button would only receive bronze.

I figure some people are really, really weird.

I was in town today to have lunch with Mirinda, which I shared with one of her colleagues, and to take a penultimate load of stuff from Florin Court to the new flat. Interestingly, the cab cost exactly the same even though it was a busy, traffic laden trip on a Wednesday. Amazing. Love the London cabs, I do.

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Moving Day

We have moved Mirinda into her new flat. I have to say that this has been the most painless move EVER. Though it took a little longer than both of us thought it would. This is mostly because of Transport for London but also because Mirinda has managed to acquire a lot of stuff in the short time she’s been at Florin Court.

Mirinda stayed in town Friday night so she could wash and pack, ready for me to arrive first thing. When I say first thing, I arrived at 11 but I was up early to take the poodles for a walk first thing. I was then on the train and then bus. And Mirinda had a surprise for me.

I had maintained that the move would take one trip in a taxi with two suitcases and a few bits and pieces. Boy, was I wrong. She’s already packed the two as well as having a whole collection of Hessian bags full of stuff. And the flat was still full of stuff!

Anyway, we took what we had and hailed a cab for the Isle of Dogs, arriving around 12. Mirinda collected the keys from the concierge, after a brief chat with a foul mouthed window cleaner who had a very original (ineffective) way of touting for business and we let ourselves in.

What a difference to Florin Court! In fact, the entire flat at Florin Court could probably fit into the new bedroom. There’s so much space that I’m sure it will take at least a month for Mirinda to fill it up. Here’s a picture of the lounge and kitchen, which is so much better than mine!

Lounge and kitchen of the new flat

After a short time emptying the bags, I left for another trip to Florin Court while Mirinda went shopping for essentials like sheets and food.

I walked across to the station at Canary Wharf to discover that the Jubilee Line was closed for maintenance. No problem, I figured. I’ll take the Dockland Light Railway to Bank then change for the Circle Line. This started well enough – a minute wait for the DLR train then an uneventful, though crowded, trip to Bank.

The thing with Bank station is that it involves a lot of walking. From one end to the other is about two miles through tunnels, up and down stairs and generally fighting people coming from both directions. I eventually arrived at the Circle Line platform to find out that the Circle Line is closed for maintenance all day as well.

I stood crying for a bit then tried to work out a way to get to Barbican without the Circle Line. Eventually I decided to walk. Fortunately the two suitcases I had with me were empty and on wheels.

It took me about 15 minutes and I quickly packed the suitcases with as much as I could then hailed a second cab to take me back to the Isle of Dogs, arriving at about 3. Mirinda had been busy, buying some lunch and visiting the world’s biggest Waitrose for some sheets and pillowslips.

After unpacking and planning the final move (on Wednesday) we left for home. This took four hours. Mainly because the Jubilee Line was closed.

We decided to take the ferry – big mistake! For a few reasons. It was the first Saturday of the school holidays, it was a Saturday in London and the Circle and Jubilee Lines were shut.

We only had a wait of 10 minutes for the next ferry but it was late and then didn’t pick anyone up! Ages later we finally managed to be among the 47 people who were allowed to join the next one.

The thing with the ferry is, after the first bit, it creeps along at about 1 knot for the rest of the journey. This is normally a pleasant little ride but not when you’ve been moving flat all day.

After a very long time we arrived at Waterloo and realised we’d just missed the 7pm train and had to wait half an hour. Mirinda went hunting for food while I waited with the empty suitcases.

We eventually walked into the house at 9pm and were attacked by two excited puppies. What a day. Personally, I blame Boris Johnson.

Just to end on a bright note, here’s the view from Mirinda’s new balcony.

The view from the balcony

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I see that Nicktor has starting making comments on the blog. Interestingly, he doesn’t seem to be able to spell his own name! Fair enough, I guess, he didn’t make it up in the first place.

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