The House Husband

Firstly, let me say that I’m getting a lot closer with my photograph of a crow in flight. This is the best of today’s efforts. I’m almost happy with it. The poodles quite expertly chased it into the air after I had it well in my sights. I managed to snap off about 30 pics. I’m thinking of training them to go around the other side of the bird and scare it into the air directly at me.

So close...

While the poodles did a very good job with the crow, they weren’t as good later, both of them having the identical FSI. I do blame myself somewhat as I was busy taking photographs of a cheeky squirrel and by the time I spotted them it was all too late.

The daring young squirrel on the flying trapese

Given that Carmen no longer has the agility to leap into the bath, I have to pick her up. Given she managed a pretty all inclusive FSI, meant I was also covered in the foul smelling stuff. Obviously I followed them into the shower. Talk about gross. Cleaning it off them is one thing, off me? Not very nice!

Mind you, this is the first FSI since before I broke my wrist. I’ve only just been able to wash them so it’s only been awhile they’ve been let off the lead. But wash them I now can so there’s no excuse for them to be quite so rank as they prefer.

My wrist is actually getting a lot stronger. I went to the physio today and she, again, was very pleased with my progress. The side to side and forward movement is all good. I just need to work on the bending back and support of weight parts.

To this end, Sandra took me off the memory foam all together and introduced me to something I’ll call flubber. It’s a sort of very, very thick liquid that takes hours to flow. It’s excellent to squeeze because of it’s viscous nature. It is nice and hard but flows between your fingers…eventually. Mirinda suggested I do a time lapse of it flowing. I think I just might. Here’s a couple of single shots.

Before - just plonked on top of a hand cream bottle

After - about an hour later it's flowing down the sides

Truly bizarre stuff. And I LOVE it.

The other thing Sandra did (apart from rave about the excellent improvement in my wrist) was give me a strength test. I had to squeeze this silver metal thing which had a gauge in front for her to read off the numbers. Squeezing with my right hand produced an 80 (I have no idea what this measures but she told me it was good). I then switched to my left hand and squeezed with all my might. She had to stop me as she read out 40. She was stunned with delight. Generally, she told me, people have 75% strength in their non-dominant wrist. The fact that I had 50% was a great moment in healing.

So there you go. Sandra’s happy, Gary’s happy, Mirinda’s happy and the poodles were happy…until I gave them a bath).

You really notice it when you lose the use of something you take for granted! For instance, I decided to take the dogs for a walk today (not just to ease their boredom) but I had to keep them on the lead. You may ask “why” and I would answer “FSI“. But not the FSI, per se. The fact is, I’d not be able to wash them afterwards. And I really do not want to think about how I’d dry them. Even so, it’s that easy to pick up Carmen’s poo one handed either.

The dogs, of course, were completely confused. Not unhappy, just confused. They looked at me beseechingly every time we saw a squirrel or they fancied chasing a crow. I apologised and tried to explain but they soon forgot it and moved on to the next thing that interested them.

Actually, I’ve felt a bit better today due, I think, to the fact that I managed to get a few strung together hours of sleep. Previous nights have consisted of an hour asleep followed by a few minutes readjusting my arm to ease the discomfort & pain. And repeated throughout the night. But last night I was more comfortable for longer periods and, therefore, I managed more sleep.

Also, having read a bit about my injury, I have elevated the arm for longer periods of time. This, apparently reduces any swelling. Which reminds me…I rarely remove my wedding ring so it was a bit of a shock when the doctor had me take it off immediately, saying the swelling may precipitate removal of the finger instead. I am now wearing it on my right hand and it feels a bit weird. My left hand doesn’t care because it feels weirder.

According to the doctor I saw at the hospital, I have a suspected Colles fracture which is not good. I will find out on Thursday whether I’ll need an operation or not. I’m hoping not…obviously.

Mind you, this may not be the case. I have been contacted by the hospital to say Thursday may not be required and the hand surgeon will see me in two weeks to see how it’s going! This does not fill me with confidence. The woman I spoke to is getting hold of the surgeon & then getting back to me so, who knows.

Some strange night visitor (I’m pretty sure it’s nothing more mysterious than a cat) knocked over a few of the gladiolus spears. They refused to stand up straight this morning so I clipped them and plonked them in a vase – I felt like Dame Edna carrying them into the house, cradling them in my arms. They are amazingly long. Anyway, they were quite happy to be moved to a much nicer environment than lying face down in the ex-nettle patch.

Glads in a vase

Apart from glad-rescue, today was mostly about housework and general organisation. All very dull and not a bit like my usual Friday’s. Tomorrow I’m off to the Globe with the Weasels, so I’m sure I’ll have much more to say.

Here’s a photo of the sun behind the Avenue of Trees this evening. We took the poodles out for an early evening walk to the castle and back during which Carmen managed an FSI. Grrrrrrr.

A summer evening in Farnham Park

The poodles went for a trim today. Kate picked them up at 11 and off they went, happy and bouncy. They returned three hours later looking like poodles rather than unshorn sheep.

The girls after their haircuts

While they were out, I grabbed the opportunity to mow the lawn. Not that they’re any problem – they tend to keep away from the big nasty mower that makes so much noise and spits things at them if they get too close – but it’s infinitely easier if Day-z isn’t around to find things and drop them into the path of the mower. I think it took me half the time given that I didn’t have to constantly move objects from my path.

Then it was down on my knees for some essential weeding. I’m amazed by how much quicker the weeds are in contrast to the plants we like. Still, it keeps me occupied. Speaking of which, I then cleaned the oven and washed down the kitchen cupboards. All of these things are so much easier without the dogs.

After Kate dropped them off, smelling sweet and lovely, we went up the park in order for Carmen to have an FSI so she could smell foul. She’s managed to have four smells today. The one she woke up with, Kate’s shampoo, fox excrement and our shampoo. She’s probably quite confused now. Oh no, hang on, she’s asleep. Nothing new there, then.

At about 6pm the rain started, putting paid to any outside work for the day.

Mirinda is off to have dinner and listen to jazz tonight with her friend Sarah. I’m going to watch a new episode of V.

In Norfolk you can buy these weather dolls – for all I know you can get them everywhere but I did see one from Norfolk recently. They can tell you the weather. They have a notice that goes with them that reads “If I am wet, it’s raining. If I am dry, it’s not. If my hair is horizontal, it’s windy. If it’s vertical, it’s still.” Or words to that effect. Apparently the dolls are very accurate if placed outside. I have a much better way of finding out the weather.

Today, as I was cleaning the fridge, I had a text. It was my mother asking if it was raining. It was, indeed, raining. There was thunder, lightening and a thorough drenching of a rain storm. Confused, I told her as much. She was watching Wimbledon and the rain was so heavy, it could be heard in Queensland as it thumped on the roof over centre court.

So, from now on, if I want to know the weather, I’m just going to text my mother.

The storm that assailed us here in the south east was indeed a doozy. A sudden, unexpected lightening flash took out a few trains, rendering them useless. Yesterday it was so hot that some trains were unable to move because the overhead wires melted. I think that says more about the state of the rail service over here than anything else.

I had just completed planting the self sown verbascum ‘seedlings’ (remember the banana custard?) that Mirinda had rescued in the ex-nettle patch when the rain started dropping on us. The sky was suddenly black and we high-tailed it into the house just it started drenching everything.

I heard the roofers next door scampering down off the scaffold. I imagine a roof is not the best place to be during a storm. Particularly one surrounded by scaffolding like so many lightening rods just begging for some sort of Ben Franklin re-enactment.

The poodles hate thunder, particularly Carmen, and they huddled around me as I made an early lunch. Normally Carmen sits on a dining room chair and waits for her sliced meat treat but not today. She was at my feet, her tail down, misery in her eyes as the thunder rumbled directly overhead.

Sitting on the lounge, eating my baguette and watching the TV, she was stretched out, her head resting on my knee at an extremely awkward angle – anything to remain in contact with me. Every now and then her eyes would half open, just to make sure I was still there.

Day-z isn’t that keen on thunder either so she was tightly curled up in my lap. I was covered in poodles. I didn’t mind but Day-z wasn’t too happy when the phone rang and I had to move her.

Eventually the rain stopped and the sun weakly made an appearance, so we headed up to the park for a lovely walk where we only met one other person walking his dog. Everyone else must have been waiting a little longer, just to make sure the rain had gone.

The park smells so good just after rain. It’s all fresh and alive, sunlight glistening off droplets, leaves awash with water. Everything was perfect…until Day-z had an FSI. You take your eyes off them for one minute and…so, the perfect ruination of a perfect walk.

Back home, after giving her a jolly good bath, I returned to the garden for some intensive weeding, among other things, picking out the tiny little nettle plants that have sprung forth from the herb table. This is because I used our own compost which, clearly, harbours nasty little nettle seeds.

I’m now wondering if mum could tell me what the weather will be tomorrow.

I didn’t take many photographs today but spotted the roses from the kitchen window, looking somewhat wet after the rain and ran out to snap them.

Roses after the rain

I joined Mirinda on the train this morning as far as Woking. My shoes have grown a hole in the sole so I needed to visit my favourite shop for a new pair. Given the rain, every time I wear the old ones, one foot gets squishily wet. I hate having to carry spare socks so figured new shoes were the best solution. And so I headed off for TK Maxx.

The old pair were ideal because they are quite wide in the foot, allowing for comfort during mild gout days – mild enough not to need the gout sandals, anyway – and so it was with some trepidation I set about trying to find a pair as good. And would you believe it! They had the very same shoes (just a different colour)!

Naturally, I snapped them up before they could disappear. As well as a couple of new shirts. My haul came to under £50 for the lot so I was very pleased. I just LOVE TK Maxx.

Back at home I set to mowing the lawn before the rain arrived. BBC had prophesied that it would hit us at about 4pm so I knew I had plenty of time but I also had some planting to do. The lawn was in desperate need of a trim after the rain of the last few days but the mower made short work of it and I settled down for lunch.

It was then up to the park with the poodles to check out the funfair which is presently setting up in the park. This happens every year. Lots of trucks invade the football pitch beside the castle, forming a circle like so many wagons defending against the Indians. In fact, looking back at my posts, it was exactly a year ago that they were here.

We chased a few dogs, ran away from others and then headed home. While taking a temporary diversion into Squirrel Tree Copse, Carmen had an FSI. She hasn’t done this for a while but today she found the mother lode.

I reckon there’s a communal fox toilet just behind the Squirrel Tree and the last fox that used it forgot to shut the door. Boy did she stink. Gaggingly smelly. Even Day-z walked at a distance from her. Of course, Carmen thought it was all great and walked with her head and tail held high. Stupid dog. And she hated the vigorous bath.

Having rid the house of the obnoxious odour of Carmen’s stupidity, I hit the garden, ready to plant up the horde from Saturday. Mirinda had placed them in their pre-ordained locations throughout the new bed so all I had to do was dig, manure, water and plonk them in. This I did while listening to Radio 4, watching the growing blackness starting to make itself known above the house.

I had two more to plant and it started. Big drips started hitting me. I heard the roofers next door down tools and vacate the scaffold as I rushed to finish the planting. The rain started in earnest and I quickly moved the radio and my camera into the shed before returning to finish, water streaming down my face.

The dogs were sitting on the sun lounger watching, ignoring the rain. Idiots. Anyway, I managed to finish and put all the tools away before rescuing the radio and my camera and heading inside. The rain still hasn’t stopped. This means I am unable to take a photo of the finished bed. Maybe tomorrow.

Here’s a picture of the Lightbox, the museum in Woking. I’ve yet to visit it. I would have today except it doesn’t open until 10:30 each day and I was catching a train home by then.

The Lightbox museum, Woking

What a grey, dull day it was today. It even managed to drizzle later on. One of those days that talking about the weather is just made for. Everyone I said hello to on the way to the shops made a comment about how awful it was. Such an English thing.

During our walk in the park today we stopped and chatted with lots of dogs. The girls were (mostly) well behaved. Mainly because they didn’t see all of them. It was the squirrels, you see. As we strolled along the avenue of trees, the tiny furry things would rush from one side to the other. It was perfectly synchronised. One would take off from the left and another from the right but a few trees further along.

This isn’t that unusual. What was unusual was that any dogs coming towards us immediately veered away from the poodles and after the squirrel. Meanwhile, Carmen & Day-z would do the same in the opposite direction. This meant the dogs never met! Genius. You’d think the squirrels had been trained for it.

When we arrived at the blue door, having inspected the makings of the bonfire for next week, I noticed a disgusting aroma. It was Carmen. She can be amazingly clever at sneaking in a good FSI. So I made her jump up on a bench and took this picture. I then noticed the old couple in the distance.

The puppies smiling because they know they'll be getting a bath!

You probably can’t see them properly in this photo but they are seated on fold up chairs, painting the fallen log and autumn colours. If you want to see them properly, I blipped them. The photo is here. They looked very peaceful. Even from behind.

Back home, the poodles were unceremoniously bundled into the bath and scrubbed unmercifully. I then finished the door for the cupboard. I should say: I’m very happy that I finally finished the cupboard door today. It needed another coat of paint and a small piece of timber in the back because the handle screws were too long. But it’s finished now! Yay.

Here’s the poodles after a jolly good scrubbing.

Wet but clean

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After reading Mirinda’s comment yesterday regarding more photo albums of places as well as holidays etc, I had a look around and found some (you can see them here). While looking, I also discovered that all the old photo albums no longer work. The code is lacking something to operate in the later browsers.

Rather than recode them all, I decided I’d need to recreate them in the newer style. This takes a long time! Though possibly no longer than recoding. I have by no means finished but at least Tuscany, Flag Fen and Fishbourne are now working again.

Mirinda also mentioned that the park is looking rather autumnal. It being autumn, this is perhaps not surprising. Actually our street, as usual, is ablaze with colour. Sadly the light wasn’t very good today…this is the best I could do.

Autumn in our street

After many days of sun and blue sky and temperatures hovering around the 30 mark, it rained today. When I rang Mirinda for her wake up call I told her it was supposed to rain at 4pm. After I hung up, I walked into the kitchen and it was raining. It was clearly a long time before 4pm. Not that it was particularly heavy rain. A sort of faint sprinkling of the garden. By the time I’d spoken to mum and dad, had some breakfast, dressed and left to go shopping, the sun was out again and the ground was dry.

The sun remained, hot and beaming, all day except for a brief moment as the clock approached 4pm when this massive black cloud, resembling the mother ship in Independence Day, started to move over the house, coming from the south. It was big and thick and laden with…well, nothing really. It just kept moving. We had no more rain.

Interesting, I was in Elphick’s today, buying Mirinda an eye mask (it’s very sunny at the flat and the blinds don’t block much light) and the woman who served me said I’d reminded her she needed to buy some because of thunderstorms.

I thought this was odd as well, thinking perhaps she actually meant earplugs but, no, she explained that the thunder didn’t wake her up, it was the lightening. I can’t remember the last time we actually had a thunderstorm so I’m not sure how much sleep she loses due to them.

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Oh, and Carmen had an FSI in the park today. And no Nicktor this week as he’s currently in Spain watching Spain v Portugal on his Grand Tour of Europe.

A rather dull day, today. Most of it was taken up with writing test scripts. I also managed a few glimpses of football – mostly dull as well.

For a break I planted a few plants courtesy of yesterdays trip to Crondall. Of course I took the poodles for a walk and, of course, Carmen had an FSI. Rotten dog. That’s two baths in two days.

The highlight of the day was when the British Gas guy arrived to give us a quote for a new boiler. Ours is over ten years old, so he says and needs replacing.

The Italy v Paraguay game is currently on and Italy (the reigning champions), having been surprised by a goal from Paraguay in the first half has pulled one back. FINALLY, an exciting game! Two Italian girls in the crowd blew kisses at the goal scorer. Among the 89,000 fans, I’m not sure the guy saw them, somehow.

I forgot to mention my Neros’ coffee on Friday! Everything was as it should be. Service and coffee were excellent!

I notice that New Zealand has a team in the World Cup this year. The commentator just called them the minnows of the competition. Extraordinary. I didn’t even know they HAD a football team.

No lunch with Mirinda this week as she had a meeting booked right across it. So I stayed at home and wrote some test scripts for my dissertation. Who’da thunk it? All those years of being a tester have come in handy after all.

Though cloudy most of the day, we’ve had only little spits of rain every now and then. For breaks, therefore, I weeded and planted some snapdragons. I also took the poodles to the park. Carmen had an FSI! Annoying dog. She also freaked out when a golden retriever tried to sniff her butt. Day-z jumped into my arms but Carmen was left running in circles around me, her tail down as this big dog eagerly tried to sniff her. It makes a change from her snapping at other dogs and embarrassing me!

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I’ve just realised I forgot to give my review of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland that we watched on Saturday. So…

For anyone that doesn’t know, I’m a big Alice fan. I’ve read both books many times and even sat on Alice Liddell’s grave! I’ve also seen the secret garden in Oxford where she played with her sister. I’ve visited the Alice Shop in Oxford which was the original inspiration for the shop in Looking Glass where the sheep is knitting. Of course, there are lots of Lewis Carroll stuff in Guildford because he lived with his aunt there for a while. I’ve stood at his grave on the Mount and smiled at his gentle genius. So, yes, I’m a big fan.

I sat down to watch Burton’s version with some trepidation. I knew beforehand that it was about an older Alice and that both books had been amalgamated to create a new adventure. These things didn’t really bother me. The characters are so wonderful, an attempt to move the story forward in time is a tribute to Carroll’s masterpieces. In this, I think Burton succeeded. His Alice doesn’t remember the Wonderland of her childhood and this gives the director an opportunity to re-introduce her (and us) to all the ‘Underland’ characters, as if for the first time. An excellent device.

The look of the film is fantastic. Exactly as it should be. A magical place with a hint of foreboding. Like Alice, we should not know what to expect. Speaking of Alice (Mia Wasikowska), I thought she was terrific. Her gradual growth (not literally!) was cleverly accomplished by both director and actor. I believed she was an older Alice.

One of the main problems Burton has is his continual use of both Helena Bonham-Carter and Johnny Depp. I reviewed Sweeney Todd a while ago and thought they were terribly miscast. Not this time. Helena, particularly. She is tremendous as the Red Queen. Johnny Depp, too, was a great Mad Hatter.

With so many great actors in the film, mostly as voices for animated characters, it’s difficult to pick any single one out. As for animated characters, the Cheshire cat was superb. The way it slowly vanished into smoke was exactly as I’ve always imagined it. Beautifully voiced by Stephen Fry as well.

A big surprise was Anne Hathaway as the White Queen. What a ditz! She was tremendous. Loved her performance. I can’t forget the Tweedles. Marvellous Matt Lucas.

And so, I really enjoyed the film, but…of course there’s a but and it’s a big one. Actually there’s a big but and a quibble. Firstly the quibble.

I’m not sure why the Red Queen had playing cards for her soldiers. I have no problem with her being the ‘baddie’ rather than the Queen of Hearts, even though it was the latter who always said “Off with his head!“. I cannot understand why the cards, though. It makes no sense. Especially when the White Queen had chess pieces for her army. Small, but annoying. There was also a mistake in the flash back sequence but, at the moment, I can’t remember it.

My big problem with the film as a sequel to Alice is the format. The thing about the two Alice books is that they are made up of a series of adventures that Alice goes through. Both have an ending (the garden party and trial in Wonderland, Alice being made a queen in Looking Glass) but neither is a struggle for good and evil with a hero needed to save the goodies from evil. And this is what Burton created. A typical fantasy film where an unlikely hero is needed to thwart an evil threat hanging over a once peaceful place. Works fine in Narnia, Lord of The Rings, and any number of other fantasy stories. I think it’s an easy option and rather sad given Burton’s early skills of personality films (think Edward Scissorhands).

Anyway, Mirinda thinks I’m wrong. She loved it. And, to be fair, I loved it as a film. Just not as an Alice.