The House Husband

We’ve discussed getting another dog. Actually Mirinda has discussed it while I’ve said we’re not getting another dog. Anyway, when this subject does come up, we have more or less decided to get a cockerpoo rather than a labradoodle because the latter is a bit big. Today I saw a cockerpoo and it was enormous! Actually Carmen & Day-z chased it around the woods and it acted like a scared rabbit although it was 100 times bigger than the poodles.

Carmen seems to have forgotten her week of staying on the lead, though she did give me a brief look of fatalistic resignation just before I unfastened her from it at which point her tail went back up and wagged vigorously. She then took off into the woods, chasing the aforementioned giant dog.

The owners thought it was a great jape. Laughing and encouraging our two. They told me their cockerpoo was only a puppy and wondered what mine were, thinking they were the smaller variety of cockerpoo. They were astounded when I said they were actually poodles with very bad hair.

On the way back from our walk, I remembered mum saying how our new playground was somewhat lacking in things to actually play on so I snapped a shot that may help to alleviate this misconception.

The new Farnham Park playground

Indeed, the ultimate test will come in two weeks time when Rafi will be paying us a visit. We’re hoping the playground will be open by then. The promise is that it will be open before Easter (which doesn’t really mean anything) so my fingers are crossed. I’m hoping there’ll be a clown.

The local kids can’t wait. I’ve heard a fair few beseeching their parents for a go on the slide and the swings only to be disappointed when told it isn’t open yet. There’ll no doubt be a waiting list for each of the rides when it finally does open.

Apart from the excitement of shopping and walking the dogs, my day has mostly been spent, once more redistributing bluebells. The morning started a bit drizzly but the rain has held off (although the sky has been decidedly dodgy) so, rather than stripping the wallpaper again, I took out the kneeler and set to digging out then bedding down the multitude of bulbs that have infected the bed we don’t want them in.

The last lot I transplanted seem to have taken their move quite well so I’m holding out a little more hope for this second lot. Not having my grandmother’s green thumb means this is an amazing feat of amateurish good fortune!

From a lovely sunny day, to a wet night. We had clouds scuddering all day but generally the sky was bright and happy. Not so Carmen. She was fine early on. I put the lead on them to go for a walk and they bounced and carried on as usual. There was a bit of confusion when the phone rang, just as we were on our way out the door and I answered it to chat to Mirinda. It was lead off, collars back on and a wait for them both. They were very confused…to say the least.

Anyway, after the false start, we headed out for a second time. We stood at the beginning of the Avenue of Trees for the unleashing and they waited obediently for me to say “relax”, before racing off into the little wood, where they always race off.

Generally speaking, Carmen comes dashing out first and I have to call Day-z but not today. Day-z came bounding out but Carmen was dawdling behind, sort of limping on a back leg. She does this sometimes, obviously trodden on a thorn or some such. I gave her foot the once over and everything seemed fine but it didn’t stop her sort of limping.

I say sort of because it wasn’t a pronounced limp, just a sort of favouring of one side. Then the oddest thing happened. She walked slowly the rest of the walk. Slower than me. It was like walking with a very old dog with very old dog things wrong with her. She didn’t look too cheerful either although her tail was up – generally a very good indicator of her mood.

We stopped on a bench for bit to give her a rest in case she’d just sprained something. This seemed to work and she was fine for the final trot back. Day-z, I should stress, was her usual self.

Back at home Carmen has done nothing. Even when I went outside to work up near the shed she stayed inside – unheard of. Her nose is warm and she looks decidedly morose. Maybe she ate something that has disagreed with her. Hopefully she’ll be fine in the morning. Day-z continues unconcerned.

While walking we did see something quite funny which the girls avoided. Two women, one pushing a pram and two dogs, one of which was holding a big stick in it’s mouth.

They were both small dogs – one a terrier the other a Jack Russell. The terrier had the stick and was teasing the Jack Russell, who wanted it…BADLY! The Jack Russell was yapping and bouncing and trying to take the stick but the terrier just wandered around, avoiding the snapping jaws and generally annoying the Jack Russell. It was very funny and the two women were in fits.

It’s funny how dogs get so obsessed. I mean the park is full of sticks but the Jack Russell just had to have the one the terrier had.

Here’s a photo of Carmen looking quite cheeky on the bench where we rested.

Puppies in the park - Carmen looking very cheeky!

My thoughts are with you tonight, Claire. xxx

There is something that visits our garden at night. I do not know what it is. It enters (or exits) the garden under the fence. This I can guarantee as I have been fruitlessly blocking up the holes for a while, only to discover the very next morning, there is a new entry point already created. I have given up blocking the entrance.

It is too small for the poodles to get through and even too small for next doors lunatic, yelping dog. The Crazies (who live at number 30) seem to think it’s a badger, but it’s way too small for a badger…unless it’s a very small badger, of course. At least smaller than the Crazies’ dog.

Sometimes, when the poodles are well away in the Land of Nod, I will sneak out, making as little noise as possible, flash light gripped firmly in hand to try and catch it. I have not seen it yet.

The reason I have to wait for the dogs to be fast asleep is because if they think I’m going outside (and sometimes when I’m not) they charge up the back, barking and yahooing at, what I assume is, a fox. I know we have visits from a fox. I saw it one careless morning when we gave each other a fright. Of course, this will never do when it comes to sneaky wildlife glimpses, so I just wait for them to be comatose.

Well, last night, having talked to Mirinda about it and before tucking myself up in bed, I ventured out into the (very) cold (very) darkness, tippy toe tippy, torch at the ready. I stood, silent as a grave, opposite the hole beneath the fence.

The night was as silent as I – to be honest there was probably a roar coming from the triple roundabouts not far from our place but Mirinda wasn’t there and, for some reason, I only hear it when she is. Not a breath of wind, not a drop of dew to disturb anything. It was so quiet I could hear the goose bumps rising on my arms (typically I’d forgotten to put on a fleece and was standing in my pyjamas and, according to the weather station, it was 1.6).

Suddenly I was shaken from my imminent hypothermia by a Russell…I mean a rustle…deep within the holly bush. It sounded like a blackbird. They always sound a lot bigger and scarier than they really are. Clearly this is some sort of defence mechanism. I think they sound like snakes.

Not that our night time visitor could be a snake. Apart from the fact that there’s only about 7 snakes in the whole of England, it was far too cold and it would have been further asleep than the dogs.

So, there I was, standing uselessly with a torch, pointing it at the holly bush which, of course, was not about to reveal any of it’s secrets, with something fiddling about within it. I decided there was little point in my standing there any longer and went to bed.

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Today I entered, what felt like, a thousand breast relievers into MIMSY. There was only one photograph. I include it. If I never enter another, it’ll be too soon. I’d forgotten how truly dull data entry can be sometimes.

Glass breast reliever, courtesy of the Science Museum

What a miserable weather day! Apart from about 20 minutes of sunshine this afternoon, it has been a day of fine, misty rain. Fortunately I didn’t need to go out in it…much.

Today at Waitrose I talked to Julie who, after pitying me for having to walk in the rotten weather, told me she hadn’t talked to her daughter for eight years! She didn’t tell me why but she added that she was about to stop talking to her brother as well. She says she hates her inability to forgive but can’t help it. I think that’s very sad. Apart from talking to Mirinda on the phone and the poodles, she was the only person I really talked to today. I think that’s a bit sad, too. I’d much rather talk to someone who makes me laugh.

Back at home, I busied myself sanding back, cleaning down and priming the bedroom window (FINALLY, shrieks Mirinda) in preparation for a coat of gloss tomorrow before I go into London. Hopefully the room won’t stink of paint tonight or I’ll have to sleep in Nicktor’s bed.

I then took the girls for a walk through the park. As we strolled along we were joined by a big white dog. He was nonchalantly wandering along, ahead of his owners. Of course, Carmen and Day-z had to abuse him in their usual way. He just stared down at them like a moose trying to work out what a mouse is. Eventually the girls grew bored of yapping and snapping and generally being unpleasant with wagging tails and decided to walk with me.

The big white dog (called Leonard) kept up with us, the poodles watching him warily, he ignoring them. It was amazing how they started acting like he wasn’t there. Whenever they ran off to chase a falling leaf or sniff at some strange animals droppings, Leonard would jog up, pointedly not looking at them, and act all superior as he seemed to be implying that it was just a leaf. And a sycamore at that.

I’ve never seen the poodles act like this. They clearly saw him as superior to them after their original exchange of yappy barks and then stopped being wary or running around him. Pity it doesn’t happen all the time, I say.

Back home I attacked the weeds around the kitchen and cut down the straight branches of the twisty bush (if you don’t cut the straight branches off, the whole thing acts like a sprung spring and goes straight instead of twisty…or so Mirinda claims) in the light misty rain. A pleasant if somewhat industrious day.

Had a rather busy day today. It all started with Carmen licking my face at 6am to tell me it was raining…which it wasn’t. I let the poodles out and went back to sleep for another hour only to be woken by the recycling truck. I gave up and just waited for the alarm to go off at 7. I drifted in and out of consciousness until it did. I then rang a bleary sounding Mirinda so she could enjoy the morning as much as I had so far.

After coffee and toast I hitched the girls to their lead and took them on a good, long walk around the park. We met a few other intrepid early morning walkers. Fortunately I had built in an FSI buffer because Carmen decided to collect some particularly delicious samples to bring home with her. I needed the buffer because the taxi was arriving at 10.

After bathing Carmen and having a shower myself, the taxi arrived and took us to the kennel for the poodles’ holiday treat and then drove me back. I was going to repeat my last trip by taking the taxi to Frensham pond and then catch the bus back home but last night I received a phone call from someone on the Talking Newspaper to ask if he could swap times with me for today. Originally I was down for the 2pm slot which would give me heaps of time but he wanted to take that and give me the 12pm one instead. I actually preferred this, though it does mean a rather late lunch, but it meant I had to get the taxi both ways in order to get home in time to leave again.

I made it in plenty of time and set off along the path towards Farnham reciting my limited French in my head. I do this sometimes because I’m weird. Mind you, it doesn’t take very long. By the time I reached the end of the path, I had gone over my entire vocabulary about 150 times.

Standing at the end of the path were two chaps and a stroller. Standing beside the stroller was a child with blonde hair and blue eyes (about 2, I think) who smiled up at me and said “Bonjour.” Normally this would have caught me somewhat on the hop but I just naturally replied “Bonjour” with a smile and kept walking. It wasn’t until I reached the end of the lane and a woman said “Hello” that I realised I wasn’t actually in France. Very odd.

Anyway, the Talking Newspaper went well though I did have a bit of trouble saying “Liphook United under 10s…“. I had to say it four times! I kept missing out the ‘United’. That’s the problem with cold reading. You never know what particular bits are going to trip you up until they manage to do it successfully.

Back at home I finished testing yet another database, missing the dogs. I was engrossed in the screen when I heard a noise in the house. I turned the music off and listened. A tiny tinkle could be heard. It sounded like Carmen – the way her name tag hits her collar. I was stunned. Perhaps she’d managed to walk back from the kennel on her own after re-enacting the Great Escape! I stood up and quietly walked into the bedroom. Sitting looking at me was the crazy screechy dog from next door, smiling and cheerful.

I took it back home, meeting the neighbours as they were coming over to look for it. I then spent half an hour blocking up the hole under the fence where it had managed to crawl through.

Eventually I had dinner. Because of the lunch time Talking Newspaper, it means my lunch is at 4pm so dinner is at 9pm. What a crazy life!

Today is the first day I have really felt like spring has arrived. Ok, so far March has been pretty glorious but, even so, today just felt right. And it appears I’m not the only one.

The postman, who has never really spoken to me before, decided today was the right day to chat about how wonderful it was having frosty mornings and no rain. His face was a picture of grinning. He was very chatty. He said “Nice to meet you” as he mounted his bike to pedal off to next door.

On my walk into Farnham, everybody said “Good morning“. It isn’t exactly rare for people to greet me as I walk into town but today it was everyone. Now that is rare! And all smiling they were too. Mothers with babies and toddlers, couples with dogs, old men with sticky out ears. All of them.

Obviously the staff in Starbucks were all cheerful but they always are. It’s really nice when the baristas know what I have. Today I was standing patiently in line behind a woman and her small son of about 4, trying to decide what to eat. Not him, the son, he had picked his meal and was at the counter. No, it was her. She dithered and faffed and generally held us all up. The girl on the coffee bar noticed me, waved and gestured if I was having it in or taking away. I gestured back. By the time the woman and her son had finished, my coffee was waiting at the till and all I had to do was pay. I do like that.

Taking the dogs for their walk I was pleasantly surprised when a couple of teenagers (from the uni by the looks of their clothes) smiled and said hello when we passed them by in Badger Wood. The joys of spring are obviously highly addictive.

And then, to top it all off, this afternoon a chap came to read the electric meter. Generally when this happens, the guy comes in, reads it and goes. Usually takes about a minute. Not today. He fussed over the dogs, was whistling and commented on how wonderful the day was as he strolled away ten minutes later.

Gee I love spring. And daylight saving starts this weekend. We are finally over the dark period.

For what started out as a dull day, it turned blue and lovely just before lunch and remained that way all day. And, so everyone can see exactly what the weather is doing here, I have managed to get a feed from the weather station at the bottom of our garden all the way round the world via our website. Click here, to see what the weather is doing RIGHT NOW! It will always be there so you can check whenever you feel like it.

Anyway, enough of that…walking into Farnham this morning, I witnessed a dog Mexican stand-off. A labrador was walking towards a young English sheepdog. They suddenly stopped and stared at each other, wary and wondering. The two guys walking them, kept going and walked passed the other dog before stopping and looking back. The both called but the dogs were not moving.

Suddenly the lab lowered itself to lie on the path, giving the sheepdog the opportunity to go by. The sheepdog looked quizzical and appeared ready to lie down as well but, instead, slowly edged forward.

When he drew level with the lab, the sheepdog walked slowly and carefully at a distance of about six feet. The lab watched, only moving its head. They were both keeping an eye on each other.

Finally, as the sheepdog reached what he considered a safe distance, he ran after his owner. The lab rose to his feet and ran off to his owner in the opposite direction.

It was hilarious. Though the two owners were a bit miserable. Quite unusual in the park.

At Starbucks, the crowd inside forced me to sit outside. A young red setter was attached to the umbrella stand, his noble head, thrust towards Waitrose. I had just put my glasses down, grabbed my book and lifted my coffee when he leapt between me and the small table, dragging it across the ground. My glasses went flying but at least I’d saved my coffee.

This reminded me of the other night. Nicktor was talking to Dawn on the phone. We were in the study and he was explaining something to her. He decided to put his tea down on the desk. The desk has a 3 inch bevel all the way along the front. Nicktor thought it was level.

I was sat at the PC and I saw it as if in slow motion. The mug started to fall and I thrust my right hand at it. I actually grasped it before it fell. Then the hot water hit me – the tea had only been made about 5 minutes before – and I let go, pushing the mug towards the printer and away from the edge.

Tea spilt all over an empty box and a few bits and pieces of paper. The mug was saved. Nicktor was amazed I’d managed to get a hand to it. I was annoyed I’d let it go.

But, back to today. The red setter was going insane, barking and licking at people, bouncing up and down at the end of his lead. I wanted to drag him back but my hands were full and every time he moved, the table moved further away.

A group of two women and an old man were suddenly accosted by the dog and the younger of the two women (daughter, I assume) grabbed the dog, looked at me and yelled “Could you PLEASE control your dog!”

I let her know it was, in fact, NOT my dog. She was immediately contrite and dragged the dog towards the umbrella stand, trying to lock his lead more securely. Meanwhile I managed to free myself, placing the coffee on the table, my glasses on my face, my book on the table, my bag at my feet. Just as I was ready to lend her a hand, the real owner turned up. He was very apologetic.

As it turned out, all was well. Odd though. Dogs and mugs. What does that say, I wonder.

The day started quite grey but gradually the clouds were chased away and the sun shone weakly out of a blue day.  A very chill wind blew across the higher parts of the park!

The weather reports above are more for my benefit than anyone else’s.  I decided to include one with every post.  And then Mirinda bought me a weather station for Christmas.  Once I have it erected and running, up to the minute weather will be beamed directly to my PC.  Just think how boring THAT will get!  Wind speed, wind chill, dewpoint, humidity, blah, blah, blah.  I may have to change the blog name to ‘skip the first para’.

And so today I tested the weather station.  I’m going to have to build a structure for it to sit on but I needed to test the wi-fi signal from the bottom of the garden.  It worked just fine.  Now I need a 2.4 metre post and few bits and brackets and the GazWeatherWatch can begin.

Mirinda was a lot sicker today.  Mostly because she’s sick of being sick.  This involves trying to sleep but even getting bored with that.  In fact, last night, the latest symptom was insomnia.  And dry eyes.  I was working upstairs on my DITA assignment when I realised she’d finally dropped off to sleep.  I figured I’d come downstairs and leave her to it, knowing my typing would wake her.

My day wasn’t very interesting today.  I went into town to buy dinner and spoke to Alex in Starbucks.  Her cat ate half her Christmas dinner and is now full of chicken and she didn’t get any Christmas presents because they are waiting for her in Schumania where she’s returning for a holiday in January.  And that was about it.  Not forgetting the two old ladies who asked me if Waitrose was open.

We watched most of Alice in Wonderland on channel 5 – the one with Woopi Goldberg as the Cheshire Cat.  I find it amazing that people mix and match bits from Wonderland and Looking Glass to make a single film.  It’s quite clearly a sequel.  I wonder if Tim Burton is thinking that.  Even so, it’s an enjoyable adaptation and Tina Majorino is a delightful Alice.  I do wonder why they decided to put her in a yellow pinafore.  And the striped stockings were in Looking Glass and not Wonderland.  Still.  Gene Wilder made a sorrowful Mock Turtle and Miranda Richardson was fabulous as the Queen of Hearts.  I have seen it before, of course.

And then to the park to watch as Carmen and Day-z chased a poor, frightened, ten times bigger than them, Labrador while it screamed in terror.  Oh, dear.  Naturally I apologised and told the girls they were bullies while smiling inside.  If the Lab had stopped and started chasing them, the pair of them would have run a mile and hidden, shaking and squealing.

Like yesterday, there were quite a few people roaming about and I saw a few of our neighbours taking the early evening air, shivering in the chill wind!

The poodles taking a break on a bench

I am now going to return to my DITA assignment.  I haven’t really written JavaScript for about five years!  I must concentrate!

Oh dear, Mirinda just sneezed about eight times.  I fear she may be awake again.

Weather-wise, it was a day of all sorts.  Blue skies, grey clouds, sun showers, mud.  Decidedly not cold and the snow has all melted.

The poodles were a bit over excited, growling and snarling over various bits of dead turkey and brightly coloured squeaky toys.  They find Christmas all a bit too much.  Sick of hiding their various presents around the house, I took them for a walk.  Just as the rain started.  Of course, having already attached the lead it was too late to back out so I threw on my raincoat and ventured forth into the park.

There was an extraordinary number of people wandering around the park.  Big family groups, not always with dogs, clearly exercising off Christmas dinner.  These are people who are not normally in the park.  They don’t bother saying hello like the regular dog walkers.  I generally refer to them as city types.  I have no idea if they are.  For all I know, they may be from South Farnham – the snotty part.

Most of the shops in Farnham were closed so maybe these people were lost, searching for an open  store.  I say most but the ones that were open were not the big chains (except for Boots and Smiths) but smaller ones and some restaurants.

One big group was walking with a feisty little Jack Russell.  It was when we were almost home so the poodles were back on their lead.  As usual they decided to snap and snarl at the Jack Russell but, unusually, the other dog snapped and snarled back.  Generally dogs run off when Day-z snaps at them.  She really has absolutely no social skills.  But not this time.

The Jack Russell chased them around my legs, entangling me in the lead.  Carmen started squealing (she is so embarrassing) and slipped her collar off.  The Jack Russell managed to pin her to the ground and was baring its teeth.  Carmen was squealing even louder.  I managed to separate them and calm Carmen down while the Jack Russell’s owner finally ambled over to put his dog on his lead.

He was all cheerful and chuckles as he bent over and scratched Day-z’s face.  I did the right thing and assuaged their fears by saying Carmen was a drama queen.  Did they apologise?  Did they say anything.  Actually, yes.  He asked me how to get back to the cricket ground carpark.  I was very tempted to direct them into the worst, muddiest part of the park but I resisted and told them the shortest way.  Just as it started to rain.

No harm was done.  Carmen really is a drama queen – from her sick bed, Mirinda heard her screams they were so loud – but I really thought these people could have expressed a bit of remorse.  Like I say, city types.  They just have no idea of the rules.

Contrary to this, at the beginning of the walk, we were met by a terrier called Elvis.  We’ve seen him before and he was truly ready to play.  He ran up to Carmen, making her chase him.  When she turned back he’d come up behind her and pat her on the back, making her chase him again.  He was hilarious.  Day-z didn’t think so as she stuck to my side but Carmen was having a great time.  As was Elvis.

Walking with Elvis were three humans who made all sorts of apologetic noises, through the laughter.  It really wasn’t necessary but Elvis HAD started it.  It was far too funny to take too seriously.

Oh, and Mirinda is still sick.  She seems to gain a new symptom each day.  This morning she was sneezing.  She’s getting pretty bored.  She wanders around upstairs like Mrs Rochester in the attic!