Managed to get through Terminal 3 security ok. Went to the coach desk to buy tickets but was told to get them from ‘the girl’ on the bus. Stood at the bus bay. When it arrived there was suddenly a swarm of staff comprising a change of driver, a ticket seller and a very loud mouthed woman who screams out bus names to people. The new driver gets into the bus and does all the things that bus drivers do, including finishing his cigarette. The loud mouth ticket girl (for this is who she was) hops on and starts collecting fares from people already on the bus. We, the passengers, were left on the curb. No-one opened the luggage section. When an American couple tried to get onto the coach they copped a load of abuse from the loud mouthed girl.

Eventually the original driver stowed the luggage for us and the ticket girl got off the bus to sell us all tickets. Then, and only then, were we allowed on the coach. The new driver then pumps up the heater. The bus was already excessively hot. A few yards out of the terminal a passenger went to the driver asking for the air conditioning. The driver put it on. It lasted about three seconds then turned itself off. Now, it’s a really noisy aircon yet the driver seemed to have no idea that it was no longer going. Another passenger then started up, telling the driver to put it back on. Then, after a bit of arguing, the driver turned it back on. This resulted in blasts of hot air. A lot of dissension followed this.

Eventually the driver got a bit narky and opened the overhead vents. The passenger said it was “bloody hot” and the driver fell back on the pathetic so often heard in the UK “You don’t have to swear sir, I’m not swearing.” Mirinda, being Mirinda, responded with “And you don’t have to smoke” but, unfortunately, he didn’t hear.

Eventually we got to Woking ready for our usual half hour wait for a train. Went to the new Peacock Cafe (on platform 5) for a tea and a coffee. Mirinda was doing the buying. Her tea was fine but my coffee was tepid – as if made with warm water out of the tap. She complained to the inept guy and he tried again. Then the woman that runs the place came over and made a proper cup. The train, of course, was late.

At Farnham, when the taxi arrived, I had to heave the bags into the boot while the driver stood and watched. He eventually said he had a hernia! What a typical English day of incompetence. Strange ending to a brilliant holiday.

Got home to a mile of mail. Stayed awake until 7 then we both died.

Went over to Lisa & Jack’s to join in the fuss over Anna’s haircut. We then hopped into a hire car and set off for the burbs – West Chester County, where Jack grew up. Stopped off at a diner on the way for brunch. Mirinda had nachos, I had a bagel with lox and cream cheese. Yummo. The diner had the little individual jukeboxes at each window booth – like in Happy Days. Jack put on Frank Sinatra but it was a bit hard to hear.

The countryside is beautiful and the town we stopped in is everything you’d expect from American New England: big houses, wooden on big plots of land. The centre of the town looked just like Eastwick. Ended up at this massive ‘walking’ place which was covered in trees and Autumn leaves. Also a wigwam and a nature centre. Jack said he came here as a kid.

Jack, Lisa and Anna in the woods

On the way home we stopped off at a cider place for a cider and a doughnut. A lovely spot to sit outside and sip warm, non-alcoholic cinnamon steeped cider – except I had a beer. Unfortunately the place (which is a cider mill) will close down because IBM has bought up most of the land in the town and “squeezed ‘em out”, according to Jack.

Back to Lisa and Jack’s for dinner (pork chops on rice) and finally a car to JFK. Airport security not too bad. Not a lot to do at the terminal.

The flight was pretty bad. Couldn’t sleep though I was totally wiped out. Mostly disturbed by the guy in the seats across the aisle, whose headphones were way too loud. Mirinda complained to the (British) flight attendants but apart from briefly mentioning it to the guy, they did very little so we suffered all the way. The guy, I think, slept. And this was just the beginning of our rapid decline back into the world of UK service standards.

Today we’ll call Immigrant Day.

After sitting in Riverside Park for half an hour in order to lower my core temperature to something I could manage, we set off for the Lower East Side to visit the Tenement Museum. When we got there at 10am we found that the tours didn’t start until 1pm!!

We wandered round Chinatown. Through the streets are all these tailor shops selling, mostly, underwear. Not sure why you’d need an entire shop to make bras for sexualised young girls but I couldn’t resist the photo.

Lolilta Bras on the Lower East Side

The underwear shops are ok but the rest of the area is pretty gross. We ended up at the Olympic Restaurant and we (finally) had breakfast. Me, eggs Benedict and Mirinda French toast and bacon. Nice and cheap and very filling. After gorging ourselves and taking advantage of the bottomless cup of coffee, we wandered back to the Tenement Museum Shop and sat and watched videos about it. Felt like we’d been waiting ages by the time 1pm came round (oh yes, we had!) but it was well worth the wait.

Oddly enough a Swiss woman took us round. There was a group of 15. The museum is actually a tenement that has been restored to the way it was in various times of it’s life. We went from room to room, hearing all about the families that lived there since the building was put up in the early 1800′s until it was boarded up in 1935, because of the changes to the housing rules.

An excellent tour. Similar to the merchant’s house in Bergen. An awful lot of people in a small space: 352 sq feet and sometimes with more than one family in there. Found out that tenement means a building with three or more families in it. It’s from the Latin word for three.

When the tenement was boarded up, the final person was allowed to stay because it was no longer a tenement, ie there was no longer three families living in it!

Also found out about the Jewish practice of Shiva. It’s the period of mourning right after death. It normally lasts seven days during which the family remain in the house with mirrors and windows covered up. No-one is allowed to work. This includes cooking and cleaning. Instead, friends would bring food. After the seven days, the family then walk around the house seven times to signal the end of Shiva – or in the case of the tenements, they walked round the block seven times. It was an excellent hour and a half.

Then went back uptown as Mirinda wanted to check out Bloomingdales. Had a coffee in the Showtime Cafe – a bit like Woolies Cafeteria at Town Hall, Sydney. Wandered through the shop then started walking back to 5th Avenue. Stopped in Pottery Barn – I see what Phoebe means. Staggered to Broadway and FINALLY got the bus back to the hotel.

Ooh, excitement! Someone is making a movie in our street. Unfortunately that’s about it as they’re just sitting round at the moment, looking bored. Going to dinner with Lisa and Jack at 7.30.

We went to The Palms, an expensive steak house downtown. Very nice. During dinner Jack (I think jokingly but not sure) came up with the title Great Arseholes of Australia. He intends to write this book once they’ve moved to Oz. Everyone thought it was really funny though I think it’s silly!

Walked back via Times Square then hopped on the subway. Got as far as 96th Street but the train had (inexplicably) turned into an express so we jumped off and decided to walk the rest of the way. Got down the stairs but the passage was full of water and people trying to wade through it. We decided, instead, to go back up to the platform where another train had, by now, replaced the express. Jumped onto this. It was all like one smooth action.

Anna is having her first haircut tomorrow morning so we’re going over to them at 10.30 and then going out into the country.

I’ll be glad to go home and be in our house. I DO really love New York but I hate this hotel room with it’s sealed windows and blind that won’t open. It’s felt like I’ve spent a week in a cupboard. Would have been better in a tenement with sixteen other families and a parrot. Also I miss making a coffee BEFORE getting dressed but I am sort of getting used to this when it comes to overseas holidays.

Set off on my own this morning for a much anticipated trip to the Guggenhiem Museum while Mirinda goes to Macy’s. Strolled through Central Park – beautiful – and eventually got to the Guggenhiem and…it’s closed on Thursdays…D’Oh!

So went to the Met instead – it’s more or less across the road. I spent ages in the Egyptian and Roman/Greek sections. After a much needed coffee break, went upstairs to the Brueghal exhibit. It was excellent. So excellent I was there for two hours!

Riverside Drive

Finally I returned to Central Park and headed up to (or should that be down to?) Columbus Circle. Of course, it was only natural, that I then headed for Times Square. I wish I was a huge electronic billboard then I could spend my life there!

Did a bit of shopping, including an excellent Yankees mug from the Yankee’s shop! Met Mirinda at Lord and Taylors for lunch where Larry was our waiter today…Poor Larry wasn’t having a good day but he handled everything expertly. Just LOVE the customer service in NY.

Walked over to the Tourist Centre on 50th where we logged on to check email and so Mirinda could email work, then caught the bus back to the hotel. We were going to Cabaret tonight because Brooke Shields was supposed to be in it…but she isn’t…so we’re not. After some discussion we came to the conclusion that we’ve got the West End where we can see big budget musicals so why go to Broadway?

Popped over to Lisa and Jack’s for a couple of hours (not quite Brooke-y but who’s complaining?). Half watched the baseball, chatted, drank scotch – Jack is trying to finish off his liquor cabinet before they move to Australia and I agreed to help him. Had a very odd cup of coffee. They’d run out of sugar so Lisa gave me some Lindt chocolate (almond and praline) instead. Rather weird taste and had to filter the nuts through my teeth.

Had pizza slices at the place downstairs from the Ellington. Very nice, though Mirinda thought there was too much broccoli.