Yesterday the BBC news was all about the new Olympic stadium. It was exactly two years before the opening ceremony so they were looking at how it’s all going. Everyone is cheerful that it is all on schedule. There were lots of different people talking about the mounting excitement. There was a list of dates to remember – when you could sign up to volunteer, when you could enter the ballot for tickets, etc.

There was also a piece on female boxing, which will make an appearance for the first time in London. It’s beyond me why anyone would box let alone women. Still, each to his (or her) own. This thought struck me on the train home this afternoon. not the boxing, but the new events they introduce at the Olympics. I have one for them. I call it First Off The Train or FOTT for short.

The rules of FOTT are simple. It’s all about the strategy. How long to prolong the sitting down before standing in order to be first at the door in the carriage nearest the exit at the station. It’s a question of total points for various stages in the competition.

Some people are really pathetic; they really have no idea. Take this guy today. A total amateur. The train departed Aldershot and this guy immediately stands by the door, his finger already poised above the door open button. It’s six minutes between Aldershot and Farnham! Now, naturally, he’d get points for being the first off the train, say 3 points, but nothing for getting up so early.

Making the scoring as simple as possible, extra points would be awarded for the length of time before the station. So, on a six minute run, there’d be no points for six minutes, 1 for five minutes, 2 for four and so on.

The woman in the silver position performed much better. She waited until the on-board announcement before standing. This is generally about two minutes before arrival. She was closely followed by a steady stream of others. For this perfect positioning, she’d be awarded 4 points for waiting the extra four minutes. Receiving 2 more points for second place, she’d, in fact, win gold with 6 points in total.

Another 4 would go to the third person, giving him or her a total of 5 points and silver. And the loser who stood up for six minutes, tapping nervously away at the door release button would only receive bronze.

I figure some people are really, really weird.

I was in town today to have lunch with Mirinda, which I shared with one of her colleagues, and to take a penultimate load of stuff from Florin Court to the new flat. Interestingly, the cab cost exactly the same even though it was a busy, traffic laden trip on a Wednesday. Amazing. Love the London cabs, I do.