GSE!

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Nicktor loves a bit of football violence. Not participating, I hasten to add. But he loves it in films. I think it reminds him of his youth. It just makes me glad I didn’t grow up in the UK.

Because Nicktor is so enamoured, whenever he spots a movie that purports to be entrenched in the blood soaked terraces, he always grabs it for our ‘entertainment’. We watched a frightful little example tonight.

One of classics of the genre is Green Street, which we saw years ago. Then they made Green Street 2 which, naturally, wasn’t anywhere near as good. This week he spotted Green Street 3 and couldn’t resist it. And tonight we watched it.

The best thing I can say about it is that it gave some people a bit of employment and kept them off the dole for a bit. While not the worst film we’ve been subjected to, it comes mighty close.

Ignoring the appalling acting (I use the term in its loosest sense), the awful script, the ridiculous premise and weird establishing shots of Canary Wharf, there was no intentional humour in it AT ALL! Of course, being such an awful movie, it had quite a lot of unintentional humour littered through it, but that doesn’t count (laughing AT the movie isn’t the same as laughing WITH the movie).

Actually, there is ONE intentional joke in it. It’s almost the final line of dialogue. It was with great relief that we laughed.

Even the basic premise of football hooliganism had fallen by the wayside as this was a cross between a revenge movie and an ad for street fighting. Basically, it was bollocks.

Honestly, we watch some rubbish.

Then, we watched two more episodes of Chancer, which made us feel a lot better.

I also need to mention the phone mystery…at about 9pm I had a text from Mirinda, asking me to call her mobile. Which I did. When I asked why she hadn’t phoned the landline, she told me she had but it was constantly engaged.

This was a bit odd and, I incorrectly assumed it was because the phone was flat. Not only was it not flat but it was also nowhere to be seen. When I checked the second phone (upstairs) it showed that the other handset was active, somewhere in the house.

It took a while but, eventually, I found it under the armchair. It was on, waiting for the entry of a phone number and had been for six hours and 29 minutes. And then I remembered.

In the afternoon I was in the kitchen when the dogs started barking at something outside and I heard something fall onto the floor. I went into the lounge and had a look but everything looked fine. There was nothing on the floor and all the remotes were present and correct.

Clearly Carmen had been about to make a phone call when Day-z disturbed her with her intruder alert yapping. Not thinking, Carmen simply dropped the phone, without hitting the red button, and it fell beneath the armchair.

Stupid poodles.

I should also mention that not only did the barmaid at the Albion recognise us and know what our food order was, she also said she missed us last week.

Rubble and bubs

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Jo, my cousin, became a grandmother today. Her daughter, Shannon, gave birth to a baby girl, Bella. I don’t think Jo is old enough to be a granny. However, this made me think of Beth.

Beth is Jo’s sister and, therefore, Shannon’s aunt (Bella’s great aunt). Beth is 18. Shannon was born before Beth, which means that Beth was an aunt before she was born. I think that’s pretty cool.

While Jo met her new grand-daughter, we met with our prospective builder. His name is David. He sat and answered questions for an hour and a half. Mirinda, being Mirinda, grilled him nicely…on both sides.

Having discussed the mess we’ll find ourselves living with, we are now toying with the idea of moving out for six months. We just need to find somewhere within walking distance of the house, where the dogs will be welcome.

Of course, that would mean moving our furniture as well…which would be a pain. Still, David assured us that it would be easier if we weren’t here. Not that he was trying to get rid of us or anything. Though I might be without hot water for a while.

Anyway, that’s all after Christmas, which reminds me…I posted most of the calendars today. I feel far too organised.

At the risk of making this post far too disjointed…I have something I need to get off my chest.

A long time ago, Mirinda pulled me up on something I wasn’t aware I was doing. Whenever anyone said anything, I would invariably turn it back onto me. I didn’t do this consciously but the effect was pretty much the same as if I did.

If someone wants to tell you something exciting or important, the last thing they want to hear is how you did the same thing. It denigrates their experience, forcing it into second place, making it unimportant.

One of the Weasels does this ALL THE TIME and it annoys me so much that I don’t bother telling him anything any more. I’m pretty certain he hasn’t noticed because, you see, most people have no idea when they’re doing it.

It’s very irritating but, my advice if you come across this sort of rudeness is to do as I do and just stop telling them things…either that or bait them. That’s always fun, too.

I call it ‘Experience Bingo’. If you find yourself near one of these people, make up an experience (the more outlandish, the better) and start to discuss it. Eventually the person won’t be able to help it and will launch into something about them. If you manage this three times in a row, it is beholden on you to yell out BINGO as loud as you can.

And it doesn’t have to be analog either…it would work just as well on Facebook.

The little supporter

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Susanne and Rafi came over today. They were supposed to arrive at Farnham station but the trains were all over the place so they arrived at Haslemere instead.

On Tuesday night, at the Aldershot game, I bought Rafi a Shot’s shirt for his unbirthday. He loved it. While he didn’t wear it for lunch, afterwards, and after I’d taken photos of him posing in it, he didn’t take it off. Susanne claimed he was going to sleep in it.

rafigoal

We suggested to Susanne that Rafi could come to the football with me (& Nicktor) one Saturday afternoon. Susanne agreed that I could take him twice a year. Can’t argue with that. Hopefully, next time they visit…

I had decided to cook the Japanese pork with udon noodles and, amazingly, I found the curry paste at Waitrose! There were three packets on the shelf, until I walked by…then there were none. I really tastes better with the curry paste.

I also found a very simple recipe for individual rice puddings. I played around with it a bit, making a very creamy pudding with hazelnut syrup through it. It could have done with a bit longer in the oven, otherwise, they were delicious.

After lunch, Mirinda and Susanne took off up the park then off to a coffee shop while Rafi and I watched Monsters University. I had no idea it was a prequel! Obviously, I should have realised it was Billy Crystal (I’d forgotten the characters… it’s been so long since Monsters Inc) but as soon as John Goodman started talking, it struck me.

A lot of fun.

Not satisfied with one animated film, Mirinda and I watched Despicable Me 2 during dinner. Now, that’s a cack of a movie. Haven’t laughed so much for yonks.

rafigoal

Damned noise

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Last night, after work I caught the train down to Portsmouth to meet Nicktor. Ages ago he’d bought a load of tickets to see The Damned at the Pyramids. This followed the concert we went to in Holmfirth, on our cricket weekend.

Nicktor had also rounded up a load of dads from the boy’s football team. We met them in a pub before the gig. An R&B band were setting up in the pub as we drank. It’s a pity we didn’t stay to see them.

The support band, The Ruts, were very good but that’s pretty much it. The Damned were not.

It wasn’t because of lack of energy. They bounced around like young kids, enjoying themselves like teenagers. The problem was the sound. I think they were using a sound engineer without any ears. It was just very loud noise.

And this really spoilt it. Anyone who didn’t know the lyrics to any of their songs before hand, still wouldn’t have known any afterwards. The guitars, the drums, the keyboards and the vocals…all the same level. It was appalling.

The lighting was fine, except at the beginning when everything went off and then didn’t come back on again for a bit. It may have been something to do with the song they were singing but I have no idea because I couldn’t understand the lyrics.

After the gig, we emerged into the delightfully silent night and, apart from Nicktor, there wasn’t a lot of glee. Shame.

My favourite bit was staying over at the Cansfields, rather than trying to get home. Nicktor and I had a lovely little night cap before retiring when Polly decided it was time.

While this bit was lovely, there’s very little chance I’ll be doing that again!

damned

Robot Safari

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There’s been a very short lived exhibition on at the Science Museum this week. It’s a whole bunch of latest design, cutting edge robots! They all seem to be based on various wild creatures (rather than human or machine shaped), which is why it was called Robot Safari.

I was fairly certain I’d not get to see it. After all, it was ticketed for timed entry (they, rightly, knew it would be popular) and only on for four days. But good old Emma sorted that out.

You may remember it was Emma who led us all up to see Rex before the public arrived. Well, today she was determined to do the same with the little robots. And she succeeded admirably. In a small party made up of Emma, Lucy, new volunteer Howard and me, we made our way around the exhibit, between various school groups who had sole right to be there…today.

The robots were amazing! The underwater ones, in particular, had us all amazed. They don’t use little propellers or other motorised components to move them. They have a new flexible material which mimics the movement of fish. They seriously resemble little fish (except they are transparent and you can see the electronics inside). You can even attract some of them by tapping on the side of the tank.

There was also the amazing Robo Spyder, obviously based on a spider. It has eight legs and responds to sound. It was developed in Lithuania and, the inventors hop, will help teach people yto assemble robots. I have not idea how…or why. I figured it would be used in rescue situations where spider skills would be handy. I guess not. Still…it was pretty cool.

spyderbot

But, my favourite, was the Pleurobot.

pluerobot01

This is amazing. It walks along like a lizard, low to the ground with legs coming out at right angles. Because of this, it can get under very low obstacles. It can also stand on its hind legs and lift up in order to see greater distances.

Watching it move was amazing. It looked alive. I can see it helping in search and rescue situations…at the very least. Apparently it can also move in the water, but we didn’t see that.

pluerobot02

So, a very exciting day at work.

After work, I caught a train to Portsmouth for the other exciting part of the day. I was meeting Nicktor in order to go and see The Damned in concert at the Pyramids in Southsea. But you’ll have to go to the next post to read about that.

Not a muffin basket

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On Wisteria Lane, whenever someone new moves in, Bree shows up laden with various goodies. This is her way of welcoming any newcomers into the neighbourhood. She is always bright and cheery, making the newcomers feel comfortable straight away. Of course, they tend to end up being murderers or ex-cons with terrible secrets or gorgeous redheads with mental issues. Still, it all starts off friendly enough.

Apparently it’s a bit different on the Hale Road.

Carla (another Starbucks barista) was telling me this morning about her new neighbour. Carla and her husband have recently purchased a new house. When I say recently, I mean about five weeks ago.

Not merely happy to just move into a new home, they decided they didn’t like most of it. From day one, they’ve been changing every room. Some rooms have needed just basic redecorating but, it seems like the entire bottom floor has been changed. And that includes some walls.

To be fair, they seem to have really applied themselves, wanting it finished as soon as possible (I can’t say I blame them for that, after all, who wants to live in a building site? Oh, that’s right…damn) and, I think, they’re nearly finished. Suffice it to say, though, for the last five weeks, there’s been a fair bit of building work going on.

Then, on Monday morning, there was a knock at the front door. It was their next door neighbour. She was complaining about the hammering, saying it was too loud and how long would it go on for. Carla said it was a good thing that her husband answered the door because she may have said something slightly unkind.

I’d love to say that the next door neighbour then produced a muffin basket, declaring that she was the Hale Road Welcoming Committee representative, but she didn’t. She did apologise for making their first meeting a complaint, though, so that’s something.

Poor Carla. She was clearly not very happy about meeting her new neighbour. She sounds a bit like the Crazies, if you ask me. Maybe they’re related…

Speaking of the Crazies…the gods only know what they are going to be like when our extension starts but I’m pretty certain there’ll be no muffins.

Life in a coal barge

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A women parked her Chelsea tractor outside our house this morning, let her dogs out and went for a walk in the park. Not so unusual; it happens all the time. The dogs let me know, as they do, so I know it was a woman with dogs. She I left the house and walked by her car, on the passenger seat, wide open, for all he world to see, was her handbag – one of those big, bulky ones.

Now, I realise our street is probably one of the safest in Surrey, with a crime rate so low it’s a negative figure against the rest of the national average BUT, surely this is just tempting fate. It was very obvious and a red flag for any opportunist thief. Stupid woman. Or, maybe it was a police decoy. If so, they picked the wrong street.

I didn’t see her leave, so I assume it survived.

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Today I bought us a couple of tickets to see the Lipizzaners at the Spanish Riding School, while we’re in Vienna and made reservations for Christmas Eve dinner at a gorgeous looking restaurant. It’s all getting a bit exciting now. I then set off for Date Night.

What with the numerous overseas trips and what-not, we’ve not had a Date Night for a while. Sometimes routine is perfect. A bit like the Christmas lights that adorn just about every tree in Canary Wharf.

canaryLights

I met Mirinda at the ferry and we decided to eat at Canteen.

Canteen is generally pretty lively in Canary Wharf, with lots of business people having drinks and, seeing as it’s almost Christmas, a fair few diners as well. Still, we managed to get a table and settled down to a lovely meal of chicken and mushroom pie, mash and greens. The only downside, and this was very disappointing, was the fact that the big glass doors that run down one side of the restaurant were open and a steady breeze, heavily laced with cigarette smoke, accompanied our dinner. I know people have to smoke outside, which is fine, but a restaurant really should be aware of the comfort of their diners. I might just dash them off an email of complaint.

After dinner we took a stroll around the buildings and waters edge, stopping off to admire the Vega IV, a custom re-built Dutch coal barge, moored near the Turkish restaurant. You can read all about it here. Mirinda was particularly taken with the chandelier in the main section.

barge

It’s only 1.65 million pounds. We’ll buy it after Christmas, I think. I really love the fact that to fill it with petrol would cost about £1,500. You do get the use of a heli-pad, though. Perfect.